


Midnight Sun Rewrite with Smut

by evas



Category: Midnight Sun (2018), Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Forks Washington, Lemon, Sex, Smut, The Midnight Sun, Twilight References, Twilight Series Rewrite, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:47:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 41,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26360659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evas/pseuds/evas
Summary: Am I the only 20 something that craves something more than just the same Twilight trope? I looked for Twilight rewrites but now that I am reading Midnight Sun I'd like to rewrite it myself and add the smut and sexual content we have all been craving. Please, send me fanfic recommends and enjoy!Spotify Playlist I made to go along with this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6VLVJ4oBnWXD3unPDQbAUg?si=IH2-bMRZRNiOoeQDAFsxTQ or search Midnight Sun AO3 on playlists
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Jacob Black/Bella Swan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 162





	1. School makes me want to KMS

High school was the time I most wished I could turn my brain off. 

In a way, it did feel like I was asleep, I let my eyes follow the cracks in the plaster of the cafeteria. There was always this horrendous wet mop smell in the oversized lunch room. I tried not to think about it and focused on the student’s thoughts around me. I was bored of the monotony of ‘checking in’ to people’s thoughts. It felt like every day was much the same. I felt the same boredom my classmates felt when they logged into social media and started scrolling. Reading their minds was like a news feed to a painstakingly bland high school existence in the sleepy town of Forks. I didn’t have social media though, I didn’t need it with my gift.

Today though, something was different. 

I tuned my mind reading into a few people for several flitting moments. There is a new girl and half the student population was already infatuated with her. Even a few girls wanted to catch a glimpse of her and see what her body looked like. I scoffed a little at the thought, then I wondered if they wanted to size her up or if they were just as attracted as the boys to a potential new person in their small dating pool. I tuned out.

I tried to have the decency to not intrude on my siblings thoughts, but curiosity got the best of me. I wondered if they had any thought about this new girl. 

Rosalie’s thoughts made my skin immediately prickle. She was wondering if she should order a set of racy lingerie online and wait for it to arrive at the house, or if she should just run a few states away to pick it up herself. 

_I would have time to go pick it up and be back before me and Emmett sneak off to the woods. I wonder what the lacy pink and white piece will look like scattered all along the forest floor? I wonder if he will let me try edging with him again, it is so intense for me..._

I tuned out, having had enough and if I could blush I surely would be right when I noticed she was also rubbing her dainty foot up and down Emmett’s muscular calf. Emmett’s thoughts were no better as he thought what he would be doing to Rosalie at that moment if they were alone. I just skipped right over him to Alice. I know, it might seem weird that our family not only lives together but is also coupled up. Alice with Jasper and Emmett with Rosalie. But, surely it won’t surprise you to know we also think about sex just as much if not more than our human teenage counterparts. 

It was a human trait that was not lost when we left our human lives behind. Also, each of us was fairly young when we were turned and that also triggered our burning loins and star crossed eyes to want to find a mate. I was happy for my siblings that they found someone that just _fit_ with them. Alice chimed into my mind as she played with her food, crushing it between her fingertips. _Hey Edward, did I just see Rosalie decide to leave town tonight to buy some LINGERIE? She was supposed to watch a movie with me tonight for girl’s night!_ She exclaimed mentally.

I nodded very lightly, which only Alice should be able to pick up since she was watching for it. _Ohhh, I can’t believe her! Edward, please stay in with me and watch this movie with me, I’ve waited for this day for a long time._ I nodded again and Alice made a meek smile toward me, I knew Jasper had probably already told her no since he often hunted a bit more than us. 

Rosalie squinted her eyes and hardened at our exchange. Her leg flitted away from Emmett’s calf where she might rub a hole in his jeans if she continued, much to Emmett’s dismay. I shrugged at her nonchalantly and she tugged at Emmett’s sleeve so they could escape for a brief moment. A moment of privacy in Emmett’s spacious jeep before lunch was over. I turned away, not interested nor surprised at their behavior. I turned my head to the table that was in my direct line of vision. Not coincidentally, this is the same table Jessica, Mike, Angela,and Eric sat at every single day. 


	2. You're the one that I wanted to find

I had read Jessica’s mind when she chose this table in the cafeteria to be able to catch glimpses of us. It was as if we were celebrities to her bleak life but after a year of me not acting like a gentleman to her at all, she finally relented and didn’t try to catch my attention constantly. But they were used to sitting at this table now so she had to strut in every day pretending not to care about my lack of attention toward her. Now, her thoughts were tinged with disdain at her unrequited love and the pain it caused her. I tuned into her thoughts and realized she was looking at the new girl and thinking a thousand words a minute about her. 

_What does Bella have that I don’t?_ I wondered who Bella was then it clicked for me, it must be a nickname for the name everyone in this school was chirping about. Isabella… I saw now that she was watching the way Eric and Mike were staring at Bella like puppy dogs. The girl, who must be Bella, did not look amused and if I were her, I wouldn’t be amused either. The boy's eyes glanced every few moments down to the front of her shirt, trying to catch a glimpse of the shape of her breasts. Maybe the size? I see that her loose shirt was probably a conscious choice, and she stood to grab herself something from the food line. Her shirt naturally fell over her hips as well, covering the top part of her jeans but not before I saw the way her lightly worn jeans hugged her hips and her buttocks. Her butt was… cute. 

Oh, to be a pair of warm girl’s jeans.

I shook the thought from my head, a bit disturbed at how badly these boys already wished to know what she looked like under her clothes, knowing that I myself had my own interest. It was different though because I was not going to try to get Bella’s attention. It wouldn’t be fair, would it?

I looked at her face and we met eyes briefly. I exercised my curiosity and tried to tune out the other people in the room. I couldn’t settle on one inner mind’s thoughts that seemed to be hers. I frowned without stopping myself and looked away, meanwhile thinking of the mental picture I had just taken of her. She was about 5 feet, 4 inches. Her hair was thick and a bit frizzy from the humidity, but I took in the oaky brown shades, even some mahogany. I’d never seen something like her hair before, it reminded me of driftwood. 

Her face was heart shaped, a sharp jawline that reminded me of her father, Chief Charlie Swan, who had stopped my siblings and I several times in this town. Her eyes were soft though-a bit puffy maybe from lack of sleep before her first day in a new school. Her cheeks were tinged with pink and her lips were shining under the flourescents with a light layer of lip gloss. Her eyebrows were relaxed and arched delicately where her eyelashes gently brushed against them as her eyes widened in my direction. Her eyes were large, divided by a slightly upturned nose. Those eyes… They were brown but bright, and it looked as if she had seen a lot of things in her life. Her lips are full and her mouth slightly opened in a relaxed position.

I caught only a glimpse of her ears, flat against her head and hidden by her locks of hair. She was wearing a loose, blocky shirt and shoes that did not want to attract attention. She was pale but I could see a hint of a sun tan on her skin. I’m sure it would go away after a few months here in Forks. I hear the other student’s thoughts about her being from Phoenix, Arizona and I wonder, _What are you doing here?_

I look back, and her back is turned to me. I stare without thinking I’d be caught and I see that cute butt again. I let my thoughts wander off about how she is one of the better looking people that have wandered into this town. She might weigh 145 pounds, maybe more. I couldn’t rightly tell. It didn’t really matter though. All in all, I found myself thinking she was attractive but it didn’t mean anything to me. Some boy here would be asking her out on a date in a few day’s time… Bella... _Who are you?_


	3. Panic in the air

I was totally unprepared for what happened next. I could hear Eric’s thoughts in dismay as the bell rang, he wished that he had class with her next but she was going to Biology and he was going to remedial math. I smiled at the thought of him being behind in high school but then I remember that taking these classes over and over again made me feel behind in LIFE. I went to my locker briefly, feeling that depression creeping up and Jasper and Alice walked past me. I grabbed my textbook and notebook and checked for my pen in my pocket. I headed into Biology and took my usual seat, near the front with no one to sit next to me, as usual. 

My thoughts meandered on the day’s lesson projected onto the white board when it was interrupted by the teacher’s thoughts. _Ah, yes. A new student! Chief Swan’s daughter Bella! I guess my only open seat is next to Edward, he’s a little creepy, isn’t he? Oh well, it will have to do. I guess if she needs a restraining order later, Chief Swan can help her with that…_

I am offended and amused at the same time but then... She walks in. In that earth shattering moment, my core is rocked. A warm vent hits her as she walks in and it only takes a moment for her scent to reach my nose. My fake breathing catches in my throat and I freeze. It is replaced with a throbbing burning sensation that physically hurts me. Her smell invades all my senses and I am taken aback with the scent. It’s like an open window with crisp night air creeping in, a hint of lavender soap, sage, clean skin and yet something delectable underneath. Her smell is brand new yet oddly familiar like the scent of my own bedroom. I even smell the sweat that pooled on her lower back when she dressed too warm for today. It’s dried but that saltiness is right in front of me and I would do anything to… taste it?!

I am bewildered and completely thrown off, no longer thinking of the lesson. I let my thoughts run wild as the teacher introduces her to the class and I look out of the window as she looks at me briefly. I want to get up at that very moment and crush my lips to her neck. I want to sweep Mr. Banner's papers off his desk and crush her into it. I want to taste her blood so badly, I’ve never wanted something so badly before. I can already feel how forbidden a relationship between us two would be, yet I would risk it all to taste her. I want to drink her blood, rushing fast into my mouth as her heartbeats quicken in fear. I want to pull her hair back to expose her neck further. I want to do so much! I don't care if my family is cross with me, I can get away with it... 

More than anything, I want to crush my hips against hers. I want to spread her legs. I want to be inside her, and smell what we would smell like together. I practically cringe at the thought and I shut my eyes tight, not able to look at her a moment longer. 

After so many years, I can’t believe my self control feels so unhinged. I’m always at the forefront of my own decisions and this _Bella_ has just ruined it all. I’m a virgin but I just know she would scream in pleasure at our joining… I would give it to her fast and hard and she won’t be able to help herself. I imagine her thick, warm blood dripping from my lips. I shake the thoughts from my head before it’s… too… late.

She is practically to the empty seat next to me, looking a bit perplexed at my expression. All I can do is tuck my chair in a little further to hide my groin from her. I am aghast. I have the biggest boner raging in my pants right now that I’ve had in years. I can’t even remember the last time I touched myself. Yes, vampires touch themselves. 

I look away from her direction and grit my teeth and try to think of anything that could make this boner go away. Venom is swelling into my mouth, I swallow it down desperately then I feel a strange sensation in my pants. I fight the feeling as she sits and she waves her small hand in my direction as if to say hello but I ignore her. I grip my pen and notebook and ponder on the last seven decades I had gone without drinking human blood. I can go one more day, surely. I feel the pulsating between my hips and practically give in to turning to her and jumping on her. 

_I don’t think I can traumatize this whole classroom!_ I think to myself and my little Edward. My inner voice begins calling me every bad name I’ve ever heard. Finally, after degrading myself I feel my boner relent it’s torture on me. I sigh a little and am careful to not breathe in her luscious scent too deeply. She looks visibly uncomfortable and I’m only thankful she hasn’t noticed my pants or else she’d run away screaming. But what if? I shake my head at the thought and she leans over the table and lets her hair fall between us. Her scent wafts toward me again, teasing me. That smell I can only attribute to a fresh desert sage wafts into my nostrils. I want to touch and push my face into her hair so badly. I focus on the lesson for the first time today but the bell rings shortly after and I’m astonished at this bizarre experience. 

The most bizarre thing is that I couldn’t read her mind like I did the other’s, what was up with that? For the first time in Forks, today was NOT a boring day in class. 


	4. In all this catastrophe

I strut out to my car as the bell rang and pull open the door. I sit in my Volvo's bucket seat and exhale forcefully, but I can still imagine her scent. What is going on with me? I peek around my car but guess that my tint is dark enough for no one to see. I reach into my pants and pull my waistband away from my skin. Just as I suspected, my underwear is soaked wet in my groin. I let my waistband go and groan into my balled fists.

I guess I'll have to ditch this pair before it soaks into my pants. I quickly slide them off and throw my underwear into my glove compartment in a tight wad. 

My mind is made up. I'm going to go and ask to be switched out of Biology immediately, or else me and this girl were going to clash. The flashing images born of my imagination still appear in my mind as I walk toward the office. I feel disdain toward her even though it is not her fault. I imagine her face contorted in pleasure at my teeth at her throat. I see her mouth watering as I lean in to kiss her. 

I think of those luscious, full lips and what flavor her lip gloss could be. I grimace and enter the office and seeing the secretary immediately subdues me. 

"Look, you have to switch me out of Biology to another class. Any class!" I try to put the charm on but she is not relenting, saying that the class is packed as it is and so are the others. I practically snap her pen as I absentmindedly twirl it in my fingers when I sense her near. I freeze. 

How quickly could I get out of there without causing suspicion? I think of molasses so I can slow my movements enough. "Never mind Ms. Cope, I guess I'll stay in Biology." I whisper under my breath but as I walk past Bella, I can see that she heard me. She looks hurt but what other reason could she be in the office for? To ask to be switched out too, right? 

I have a pang in my chest at the feeling that she might not be fond of me.  _ Maybe I should try to seduce her, I need to know if she responds to my touch.. no no NO! Pull it together, we don't need to know anything. You need to get out of town and get a drink.  _ My inner voice shuts me up and I sweep out to the parking lot. I type a message to Alice that she can take my Volvo home after school, I stop there briefly to take my underwear into my pocket and then I'm running through the trees as fast as my legs can take me. Once I'm home I realize that I've lost them somewhere along the way. In some sick part of my mind, I hope she finds them. 


	5. I don't want another episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for enjoying my rewrite so far. I write these chapters ahead of time and then re-read and edit before I post. I love how Twilight is alive in our hearts and online. How has it been 10+ years already?

I stopped briefly at my parents home in Forks to explain that I would be leaving town and visiting Denali, Alaska. They did not ask many questions, and I don't know what I would have said as an answer. I grabbed my phone charger, changed my clothes, and headed out with the faint burning in my throat. If I let my thoughts relax, I immediately thought of Bella's scent. Before I even made it, I had stopped and detoured off of the familiar path and chased down a deer. I drank it dry in a matter of moments, and it surprised me that when I stood up after leaving it without life, I was still thirsty. 

This reminded me of my first few months as a newborn vampire. It felt like my thirst was insatiable, who was this girl and why has she awakened my thirst this way? What would be the solution between us? I don't know if I could ever be that close to her and not hurt her, I don't know if I could ever taste of her blood or her skin and not completely crush her with my hands. I had this strange desire to take care of her but at the same time I don't feel in control of my own body. It is a wonder I didn't pounce on her in biology! I would not go back to forks if I did not have any confidence that I would not hurt her.

I tried to think of the conversations my parents and siblings had had when my siblings coupled up. What had Carlisle and Esme advised them? To not get caught out in the nude? Everyone has phones with cameras nowadays, they warned. They also advised to be alert and not be carried away making so much noise that some rogue camper could find them. I thought the advice was sound but in no way did that apply to me. What did I think was going to happen? 

I stalked another deer, ice cold branches snapping under my feet. There was no way this average human girl was going to want a vampire boyfriend. No way! 

_ Unless she is every bit a pervert as you are... _

I found a smaller doe and was busily drinking her blood when I imagined the warm blood being Bella's. The beast I was drinking from was obviously different in size, smell, and taste but for a moment the memory of her scent hit me in my gut and I practically choked as it took a hold of me. I remembered her hair, so soft and delicate looking, her eyes soft as I imagined them gazing upon me in a sultry way. Again, the yearning to be nothing more than human- to be her lover and steal her heart. I cursed at myself. I dropped the carcass and felt the fullness in my belly that would make running some more less than pleasant. I stumbled to a tree and sat against it, letting my head thump against it hard. 

I didn't have to look to know I'd soaked through my underwear again. I sighed and listened but didn't hear another soul for miles. It was too cold to be adventuring in nature. I shrugged my pants down and pulled it out: in all its glory. Never had my penis entered another person. Not even someone's hand. Tanya had ‘accidentally’ brushed her hands on it many times before. The seventeen year old in me yearned for affection but I'd always turned women down. 

I wanted to be serious with someone if they were going to see me. I had let my pubic hair grow a little longer in the past few months but I could change that again once I was home, if I ever went home! I touched my erect penis with my hand and shuddered when it finally received the attention it craved. I pictured Bella here with me. Would she be scared? Would she be open to touching me? I braced myself on the tree trunk behind me and thought of how warm she must be. Maybe she would touch me, maybe she would taste me, dear God I would do anything to experience her warmth. I would coax her to experience pleasure like never before. We would have nothing to worry about. 

I felt my precum leak into my stroking hand; it slicked me, making me go faster. I grunted and grasped at the tree behind me. The thoughts were too much. I groaned thinking of her softness and how she would move naturally, above or below me, with every thrust. Her breasts would bounce, would they be perky? I came at that thought, and my semen squirted several inches away. I gasped and felt so much pleasure creep into my belly that I almost laughed. I laid my head back and thought about how I could make it work for her. How could I be around her and not kill her? 

I roused myself out of my catatonic state and felt lighter than I did before. A few more dozen miles and I was there, on Tanya and her coven's territory. She seemed to hear me and was excited to see me. I braced myself as she ran out of her home and threw her arms around me.  _ Have you changed your mind about me?  _ She thought, knowing I could hear her. I shook my head solemnly but took her hand and didn't let her get too far. Under my breath I whispered to her, "I need your help." 


	6. Me in my frame of mind

Tanya and I walked along a creek bed, a slow flow still made its way South despite the cold. For the first time I had ever been with Tanya alone, I felt she was respecting my space. I should have made up a potential girlfriend a long time ago if I knew it would make Tanya respect my space. I was explaining to her my utter infatuation with a human girl in my hometown. I explained how I just felt my body go out of control when I was around her. Tanya giggled and clapped her hands once as I told her the news and she genuinely told me she was happy for me. 

I smiled but the worry crossed my face again. “I don’t know if I can be her friend. I don’t know if I can even begin to try to forge some type of relationship because it terrifies me.” Tanya nodded in an understanding way and shared forth her past memories. Her and her coven, her sisters, were infatuated with humans. They found the greatest sexual pleasure out of teasing them, conquering them, having the men and women begging after them for years to come- even for a lifetime. 

“Look, Edward, it wasn’t easy in the beginning. We hurt several people before we really learned how to treat someone. It takes a lot of bodies, practice…” She suggestively came closer to me on the trail and I laughed nervously. I could see the images flashing across her mind: men with broken ribs, a displaced pelvis, a smile peeking out behind a bloodied lip, bruised skin and deep scratches with Tanya wearing clothes from another time. The injuries were brutal. My stomach churned because I could picture myself hurting Bella like this before realizing what I was capable of. 

I caught Tanya’s hand lightly from reaching my shoulder and gave her a meek smile. 

“I don’t mean to lead you on. I think you’re beautiful Tanya, but I want to give myself to someone completely. I come from a time where I believed in true love but this whole time I’ve been looking for that in a vampire. Yes, even you!” 

I reached out without thinking and tucked a piece of her wild hair behind her ear. Tanya smiled at the gesture and I could tell she wanted to come near me again. I put up a finger between us. 

“Now I see her, something in me has changed. I picture just consuming her completely so no one ever gets a taste. What can I say, I’m a romantic at heart. But I’m kind of losing control here, and that scares me shitless.”

Tanya stopped at a tree and leapt to a branch and held on effortlessly. “I see what you’re saying Edward, I have had my fair share of infatuation with several humans. I’ve been practicing enough to move carefully enough to not hurt them at all because I LIKED them so much. If you think you truly like her that much, I highly suggest becoming her friend. You have to love the whole of her completely before you can even try to touch her. The mental restraint comes later. Or..” She trailed off. 

“Or?” I prodded. 

“Or, you weigh whether you just want to have one night of passion with her and leave her body in the woods, it’s August now. Once Winter clears, the only answer her death will point to is exposure. People in your town go missing all the time…” I felt a rush in my body, and anger inflected in my voice as I stopped Tanya from speaking any more. 

In her mind I heard, 

_ Look, Edward, if you’re really this smitten over her you have to practice your mental restraints as well as satisfy yourself sexually before you go to see her. Especially if you’re in class with her in a small space. You might think thirst is the only thing you have to worry about when you’re around her but that is not the case. I think small spaces for you would be good practice if you’re not going to ruin her virtue the first chance you get. You’re not like me, Edward, I see that now. But don’t go your whole life wondering what it would have been like to love her and actually love her. The women of this time are more empowered to learn about and use their bodies. You’d be surprised.  _

I held back a shudder thinking of Bella learning about her body all by herself in her room. I could change that loneliness. I could be her life size toy. I could explore our desires with her by my side. Picturing Chief Swan and his gun at his hip quickly killed my boner before it began though. Before I did any of that, I’d have to see if she even wanted anything to do with me. I thanked Tanya profusely then went to be alone in my thoughts on the trails surrounding their home.

As the sun rose next, I said goodbye to Tanya and her sisters and started loping toward home again, not knowing whether I’d be strong enough to be Bella’s friend or whether I’d have one night of passion with her. Would that even be enough? Feeling like I had more questions in my mind now than answers, I hurriedly rushed off to see my family again. 


	7. Untouched

I paced in my room so much that I started noticing the floorboards in my room were fading where I walked. I sighed and knew I’d have to tell Esme she had a project on her hands with this. In order to stop making a mess of my floors, I opened the door in my room to the balcony that overlooked the night scene. I was still thinking of her, all the while hearing my family’s opinion roll through their heads before they left for a quick hunt. Rosalie did end up getting that lingerie, and was sitting in front of her vanity and luckily was the only one that wasn’t thinking of how smitten I was with a human girl. 

We had all convened a few hours earlier at the kitchen table after I had come home the night before. My family was going to go in the nearby wilderness and do some hunting before school and work the next day but I declined joining them because I was still heavy with my kills in Denali. Alice looked at me with a curious smile, hope dancing in her eyes after a vision flashed in her mind of me and Bella talking at school the next day for the first time. 

I felt a pit of dread open up in my stomach. Alice’s visions were not set in stone, but I already wanted to speak to Bella so badly. I only wished it was 8am on Monday already. I knew I would probably end up doing it and not chickening out, but knowing that she had seen that made it more real. I don’t know what I would do if I wasn’t going to try to talk to Bella. Jasper looked a little concerned, picking up on my desperation to see her again. “We’ll probably be back just in time for school tomorrow.” Carlisle spoke up. 

I nodded and Jasper set a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I instantly felt a calm wave pass through me and I looked at him thankfully. Emmett was hugging Rosalie from behind, not saying a word but nipped at her neck playfully. Rosalie laughed and made to get away and Emmett slapped her butt,  _ hard! _ We all tried to ignore the obvious affection they displayed and I wondered if I would ever be like that. Esme came up to me and told me to take care, her eyes were amazingly soft and warm, even though they were dark as onyx. 

“I won’t keep you any longer.” I explained to them. It felt good to know they’d support me, that they thought me strong enough to at least talk to the girl I was growing obsessed with. Esme squoze my hand and they all began filing out of the door as the moon rose in the horizon. 

Now, I was looking out and seeing that I couldn’t hear any of their thoughts anymore, they were far enough away now. I went back into my bedroom and closed the door to the balcony. It was still chilly inside the house, since we didn’t keep any heater on until it became really cold; and then we only turned the heater on to keep the leather couches from cracking. I reclined in the chair I had in my room and thought about what Tanya had explained to me about satisfying myself sexually before I spent too much time around Bella. 

I only had 45 minutes I would be spending next to her in Chemistry tomorrow. Whether or not I’d be brave enough to speak to her was up in the air but I’d have to sit with her unless I wanted to provide an excuse for not attending class. I wanted to see if I touched myself as much as I could in this private moment if that meant I could behave better the next day. I had plenty of time to figure this out. I didn’t want to feel so smothered by her scent and beauty. I slid my pants down to my knees. 

I turned my phone off, no distractions and looked down at what I had going on with my freshly shaven midsection. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. I started to imagine her. I imagined the way her layered brunette trestles would fall in her face. I imagined her sitting on my lap at that moment, stroking me with her soft, human hands. I imagined the warmth not just in my lap but deeper than that… deeper… 

I groaned into the room and felt the echo bounce around the walls. I grabbed a decorative pillow from next to me and hugged it to my chest, imagining it was her. It wasn’t the same but I could just picture her curious expression on me from the day she first saw me. I wanted her to satiate her curiosity with me. I was curious too. What did she look like when she lost control? Was her virtue still intact or would she know exactly what to do with me? I thought of the picture shows I’d seen as a young man in the early 40’s, and replaced the excited woman’s features with Bella’s soft and beautiful face. The strong man that had her pinned to the tacky red velvet sheets turned into me. 

I couldn’t even picture us joining together before I exploded into my hands. One stroke was all it took. I looked at the poor pillow I had been squeezing and it was disfigured with practically all the air having been squeezed out of it. I immediately felt disgust within myself, that pillow could just as easily be her. I tossed it to the side and went to wash my hands off in the bathroom sink. I thought of Bella again, upon returning to my bedroom. Her beauty sat deep in my consciousness as I willed myself to be strong enough tomorrow to not whisk her out of the classroom and have my way with her. I thought of her scent and if she’d ever let me have a taste of those lips, that mouth, if she’d let me delve into her divine wetness. 

The thoughts inevitably turned hot red, I practically felt blind with desire as I pictured her again and again. Her, splayed out on my familiar Chemistry lab table. Her, taken by me in the middle of the cafeteria while everyone watched in horror. My teeth just grazing her neck and jawline, her spine arching for more. I exploded into my hands so many times I lost count. I released one last time, my moan battering out of my chest and I looked down and saw that my cum had turned translucent and clear. I beat back the alarm at the sight and washed up again before deciding I’d ask Carlisle later if this was normal. 

I felt empty finally of my desire, and strangely, fatigued. I cleaned up my room and was just putting the mop away when I heard the first inkling of my sibling’s thoughts as they returned with my mom and dad. The sky was just turning pink, and I knew I’d talk to Bella today. I opened my walk in closet and thought about what I could wear to entice her, to keep her from thinking of Mike. I didn’t know what she was ever thinking and that frustrated me so much! What made her different? An intrusive thought entered my head and I wondered if, in some weird twist of fate, I couldn’t read her mind but she could read mine. I was mortified at the thought and decided I’d ask her one day if she knew what I was thinking. 

I undressed and looked at the mirror at myself. My skin, pale as snow, showed my veins through at some points. I was strong and my body showed it. I still had a young man’s strong forearms, frozen in time. My body hair peppered across my chest sparingly and across my thighs. I didn’t have much leg and arm hair, and I had taken care of my privates a few hours earlier as if to prepare myself for something. I thought it might be a long time before that mattered. My feet, delicate and wide were one of my favorite features, connecting to my strong thighs and hamstrings. I flexed my body and posed in the mirror, a perfect Adonis. I reached the length of my tousled brown hair at the nape of my neck and wondered if I could get Esme to give me a haircut. I looked at myself in the mirror with a myriad of expressions until I settled on a few practiced ones that might not scare her away. 

I usually had a hint of abdominal muscles but having consumed so much this weekend, I was softer in a way. I spritzed myself with my cologne, something delicious and earthy and dressed casually but with taste. I was satisfied with my appearance and was letting my honey gold eyes take in the horizon when my family broke through the trees. They laughed with mirth and excitement and each filed into the house to clean up for school and work. I practiced breathing naturally but the excitement was shaking me to the core. Time to meet her and see what happened next.


	8. Soul Meets Body

As we drove to the school, we noticed a fair amount of ice and snow had fallen on the town of Forks. Rosalie offered to drive us to school and I agreed to keep her in a good mood. We sped off in her Mercedes and as we drove out of the thicket of trees where we lived she spun the wheel effortlessly and the sports car drifted on the ice and water. We all laughed with every exciting turn until we got to the edge of town. The normal hum of the general public’s voices filled my head and I tried to ignore it as we came to the school parking lot. 

For the first time in my life, it felt like my first few classes passed in a blur. I was sitting in Math one moment then the next it was lunch time. As I walked to the lunch room to meet my family, I saw them throwing snowballs at each other near the south end of the campus. I caught up to them and felt in a genuinely good mood as we walked toward the lunch room but I wondered if Jasper had anything to do with that. 

As soon as we got to the lunch room we sat at our usual table and I looked down at my hands until I heard a few boy’s thoughts notice Bella come into the room. She went to her usual table with Jessica and the other’s. Jessica always threw me hopeful glances and today was no different, except she noticed me staring intently at Bella as she made her entrance. Bella was still unsure of how to navigate around the students she didn’t know yet and was gingerly placing food items on a small tray. She turned and her eyes flickered to my area briefly. I couldn’t hear her thoughts but I could see her nervousness and she bit her lip and sat down. 

_ What is with Edward staring at Bella today??  _ Jessica thought, stabbing her capri sun with a little more force than necessary. 

“What?” Bella asked Jessica, deadpan. Jessica rearranged her face and looked to Bella as if it was the first time she noticed her. “What? Oh, I just noticed Edward was staring at you. Total elevator look!” Jessica said.

I tried to keep a smile from forming at my lips and looked toward my siblings instead. “Weird,” Bella began, “it was really starting to seem like he had something against me the moment he laid eyes on me in Biology.” I could hear Jessica’s mental anguish that she didn’t have a class or two with me so she could have a shot at courting me. 

“With the way he was looking at you, I’d say he’s definitely interested. Especially interested in your ass.” Jessica slapped at Bella playfully but I could tell the statement mortified Bella. Mike joined the table with his annoying voice, playfully exclaiming if he could join in on the conversation of Bella’s ass. Thankfully, Jessica’s jealousy got the best of her and she forcefully changed the subject and started talking about some movie that was playing in theaters this weekend. 

Ok, mental note, don’t stare at Bella so pointedly. People notice. 

The first bell rang and my siblings and I made our way to our classes. I felt a tight pressure like adrenaline filling my nerves as I walked to Biology. Now was the time I’d prove to my siblings I could talk to and maybe even befriend Bella without killing her. Alice winked at me and assured me her visions were becoming clearer, “You won’t hurt her.” Alice spoke to me before she walked away with Jasper. I peeked into her mind and saw that she was picturing me and Bella looking at each other amicably in Biology class, but we were wearing different clothes than today. So that was a good sign. 

The image of us turned into an image of Jasper, naked except for a straw cowboy hat. “Wow! Ew!” I let a laugh escape at Alice’s private thoughts and she smiled as she walked away.  _ That’ll teach you to not be intruding on my thoughts. Let the future unfurl, Edward.  _ Her and Jasper disappeared around the corner and the only thing to do was go into Biology. I walked in and luckily she wasn’t there yet. I sat and looked out the window until I felt the air change. The air was damp due to the weather, and it made her scent heavier in my psyche. 

I looked over as she sat, her sweet and gaudy scent covered me like lace. I smiled at her but she was purposely trying not to look my way. I tried again to read what she was thinking but was met with white noise. “Hello,” I spoke,

Bella looked up, obviously confused. Without missing a beat, I extended an open hand to her for a handshake. She reached out unsure and I saw her fingers twitch as they met my cold hand. I briefly shook her hand once and let go, our touch felt electric. My whole body was yearning to feel that warmth she possessed. I almost choked but forced myself to keep talking. “I didn’t get to introduce myself to you last time I was in class. I’m Edward Cullen, and you are Bella, right?” 

Bella’s eyes dilated and I instantly knew this was a good sign, maybe she could like me! Maybe even just tolerating me would give me peace at heart. Bella’s head slightly motioned to the left. “How do you know my name?” she spoke, her breath smelled undeniably sweet as it wafted toward me, but luckily I felt no inklings of a boner coming my way. 

“What would you like me to call you?” I countered. Bella’s pupils changed again in size, widening. I smiled at her, knowing the question had flustered her but our conversation came to a halt as class began. 

Mr. Banner placed tattered microscopes on our lab tables and explained the lab work today. I knew exactly what I’d be looking for and it was only a shame the scratched lenses would be in the way. Bella slid her rain jacket off and draped it over the chair, water had soaked through to her long sleeve shirt. I noticed her soft shoulders were wet. I wonder what else could be wet?

I shook the thought from my head and as Mr. Banner passed out the slides I reached out to receive them. Not so accidentally, I brushed against Bella’s shoulder as I sat down again. Bella shivered. I looked at her immediately, maybe too intensely because Bella consciously closed her mouth and looked away. “Are you ok?” I asked.

Bella looked back at me and it was as if her eyes were begging for mercy. “Ah, I’m ok. Just a little cold, I think.”  _ I think? Is being cold something people usually aren’t sure about? _ I dropped the thought and smiled at her. We began the lab work and I could see that Bella only became more flustered with every brush of our fingers as we traded the microscope back and forth. She was getting every one of them correct until she came across one she was struggling with. 

I leaned forward maybe to offer a word of advice on identifying this phase and I watched some of her hair fall over her shoulder, almost touching the light plate. I couldn’t help myself. I reached forward, and as gently as I could, brushed her hair over her shoulder again. She shivered again and looked up at me in shock. 

Wishing I could see what she was thinking, I leaned back to give her space. “Are you cold, Bella?” I asked, “because you can very well borrow my coat, it’s nice and dry.” Bella was looking at me with her mouth slightly agape and I was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss her good and deep. “That.. would be nice.” she smiled at me meekly as I shrugged my jacket off and over her shoulders. It was roomy enough for her to sneak her arms up into it and put it on, the wool sashayed across the skin of her neck. “Is that better?” I asked. 

Bella nodded and leaned forward and all I could think about was how lucky I was to have my jacket on her shoulders. Mike, a few seats away noticed and exclaimed mentally that he wished I would butt out of his advances on Bella.  _ At this rate, I’ll never have a chance! _ He practically snapped a glass slide in anger. 

We finished the project and I leaned back in my chair, stretching my legs out beneath me. Bella looked at me tentatively. “Do you want your jacket back?” she asked, moving as if to take it off. “No, I’m ok. You can wear it for the rest of the day if you’d like. No offense, but that jacket you have isn’t very warm. It’s only going to get colder from now on and Forks doesn't have much of a warm period.” 

“I know,” she answered “I’m from Phoenix and I got this jacket at the mall before coming here. I think I vastly underestimated a lot of things before coming here.” She looked at me and smiled and the hair on my neck stood up. “Like what.” I followed.

She thought for a moment before answering, “Like how boring it is here for one.” I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Have you looked around you, Bella.” she looked at me exasperated as if she didn’t understand.

“There’s so much beautiful wildlife and protected nature around us. It’s perfect for camping or hiking.” I mused. 

“I don’t think I’d want to be caught outside alone, I’m not very coordinated.” she laughed and I wished I could make her laugh again and again. An intrusive thought thrust itself into my mind of what it would have been like if I had come across her in the forest alone. I’d probably have rushed her and taken all of her without hesitation. 

“I’m pretty experienced, I can take you out some time and show you some cool spots.” I said to break the tense thoughts. She smiled shyly at my suggestion and looked down at the table. After a few moments of silence she asked where I got my jacket. “I got it at a Pendleton outlet in Port Angeles. Maybe we should take a trip down there together. Why did you come from Phoenix, anyways?” Bella played with a frayed string on her jeans. 

“I’d like that,” she began, smiling at my invitation to get her a better jacket, “My mother got remarried, and I decided it was time to come stay with my dad for a while. My mom travels a lot now.” 

I raised an eyebrow at her independence and foresight. All the years I’d lived here I’d never seen her or heard of her and she made the decision to move her for her mother’s sake. How brave, but she must be lonely. Mr. Banner interrupted our conversation as he asked us to leave our slides neatly on the table as the bell rang. 

Bella pushed her chair out quickly and picked up her bag and wet jacket in one motion. She motioned to my jacket and I shook my head at her once. She didn’t want to push it, so she turned on her heel and left the classroom with a little wave in my direction. I got up and noticed her scent was still tantalizing in the air. I looked down to push in her chair and that’s when I saw it. A dark damp spot on Bella’s chair where she was sitting, and I don’t think it was melted snow. A violent flutter fought its way up my abdomen. I tucked her chair in so no one would see as it dried and walked out of the classroom before I did something weird. 


	9. Nothing else compares

After we’d gone home, I spent the remainder of the evening helping Esme with a project of installing more large windows in the garage to let in as much natural light as she could. The windows could look out but if someone looked in, they would see nothing but darkness. Rosalie grumbled under her breath and threw me dirty looks on occasion while she worked on putting new seats in her car. Alice had cornered me after school and accused me of my future not being clear enough for her to predict what would happen next. 

“Well SoorRRy,” I mocked “I’m sorry my unclear future inconveniences you so much. Look guys, if I feel like I’m going to do something stupid I’ll leave and you can tell everyone I’m a runaway. It’s a perfect excuse.” Alice looked at me sadly, and Rosalie had her fists balled and was tensed as if to strike. 

“Why can’t you take this seriously, Edward. She’s a human girl and you’re acting like it would be all fun and games to ruin her innocence.” Rosalie shot at me. Anger flared up from my belly. 

“That’s not true! I care a lot about her but I don’t think I can stay away! And you can’t make me.” I cried out. Carlisle decided it was time to come downstairs to break it up and I stepped back from Rosalie before we gave Esme more than one window to replace. 

Rosalie was now fuming and I tried my best to tune her out as we installed the last window piece. I took a hot shower next, it would still be a few hours but I was so excited to see her again, it was really motivating me to get to high school and play pretend for a few hours if it meant I could inhale her scent, and pick her brain apart some more. 

I thought of her wet spot on the chair, like some warm intrusive thought. I practically had to bite back the moan at the thought of her body’s reaction to me. I know it sometimes happens, girl’s suddenly realizing something was happening to them when my siblings and I were near them for too long. It was a natural body reaction. I wondered if her chair would still smell of her sweet scent? I wanted to bask in it. I reached down and stroked myself quick and dirty, my glutes squeezing in tight at my release right down the shower drain. I washed my body once more and practically ran to my room with the memory of Bella fresh in my mind. 

…

At school, my siblings and I stood at our cars. We all loved cars very much, and liked to use this waiting period to talk about any upgrades we were doing to them. Hardly any of the other Forks High students stood outside in the cold, it was rainy today and a biting wind was making some ice on the road. I felt the hum of Bella’s truck before I saw it, a monster of a red truck. Vintage. I remembered a time they were all the rage. I watched as it rumbled into the parking lot and she picked an easy spot, right near the entrance. 

I smiled, just couldn’t help it. My sibling’s worry could be felt in the air and I couldn’t help but feel like something would happen. I waved at them but was already keeping my eyes steady on Bella. She opened her door and gingerly a pair of booties tested the ground before she made a small hop out of her truck. I walked, too quickly and then I was right next to her. She jumped and I couldn’t help but feel like I was stalking her, she looked so delicious today. Her hands were gloved up to deter the cold, and there it was. My jacket, draped on her arm. 

“Oh,” she exclaimed, her breath fogging up between us. I smiled and leaned in closer without thinking. Her smell was washing over me in waves, a crispness to the sensation scraping on my psyche. 

“Good morning, Bella.” I spoke, and I knew I wasn’t being fair. I was using my best seducing tactics and I almost couldn’t help myself. Her cheeks were already rosy from her drive to school, but I could see their color deepen as she reached out and handed me my jacket. “You no longer need this?” I questioned, almost teasing. She smiled and shook her head and was showing off her jacket, a retired jacket from her father Charlie, equipped with a few sheriff’s office emblems. I laughed a little, “Are you trying to make a statement, Bella?”

“Not me, but I think my dad was a little shocked I was wearing a boy’s jacket home.” 

“That makes sense, he just wants to keep you safe.” 

“Are you someone I should be kept safe from?” she teased, and turned, almost not able to face me as I flashed her a smile. She reached into her truck and was pulling out the books she’d need for the day when I heard Alice’s panicked voice in my mind. A vision of Tyler Crowley bursting into the parking lot too fast in his mom’s minivan was playing out, and the tail end was heading straight toward Bella. She’d be crushed. I knew I couldn’t stand the thought even of her blood spilling out of her in any capacity. I inched closer to Bella nervously, not knowing when it’d happen but there was still worry in my voice as I said her name. 

“Will you… take a walk with me?” I stumbled over my words, trying to get her away from her truck. “What?” she shot a glance at me like I was crazy and continued to place things in her bag. “Bella,”

I inched closer yet again, feeling the heat of the cabin of her truck escaping. I was close to her back, close enough to grab her and that’s when I heard the inevitable screech of the tires and Tyler’s panicked thoughts as his car spun on the ice and rain. It was now or never. I decided to trust myself. I reached forward and snaked my arm around Bella’s hip. She jumped in surprise and I pulled her toward me as slow as I could go. I needed to get away from the truck but I could see I would be too late. I pulled her back flush against my chest and made as if to crouch. Bella exclaimed in protest at my grabbing her and then she finally saw and heard what was happening. I tried my best to maneuver myself over her to protect her. The van was making its way toward me and I broke the impact with my shoulder. It’s plastic exterior immediately bent in at the contact with my shoulder and I braced my back so that the tail end of it’s violent impact jarred away from us. 

Bella’s eyes were huge with shock. I was still hugging her to me tightly, maybe too tightly as I released her and straightened us both upright. She was breathing raggedly, maybe about to hyperventilate from the shock. I pulled her a little closer, relishing the gaudy scent washing over me as I did so. “Are you ok Bella?” the concern in my voice was palpable. She did nothing but stare at me and I decided we’d need to go to the hospital to get her seen, just in case. A crowd was beginning to form and I could see that Rosalie was already calling Carlisle on her cell phone, belligerent at my actions. “HE’S ALMOST EXPOSED WHAT WE ARE TO EVERYONE HERE CARLISLE, WHY DO YOU LET HIM…”

I tuned out her voice as I picked up Bella in my arms. She looked up at me, mouth agape, definitely in shock.The voices around me were incredulous with shock but not a single one had even thought that I had stopped the impact with my body. They just thought Bella and I were incredibly lucky. I urged the student’s trying to catch a peek to move aside and walked toward my Volvo. Alice opened the passenger door for me and I placed Bella inside. 

“Probably faster than an ambulance,” I started, then flashed a smile toward Rosalie and jumped into the driver’s seat. Bella was habitually placing her seatbelt over herself as I punched it into reverse. I sped away, toward the hospital and I felt my instinct to take Bella began to gnaw at me. I just had to let my desire to care for her supercede that. “Are you ok Bella, how do you feel?” She let go of a long breath and then exclaimed in a quick burst of energy.

“More like how are YOU, what the heck! HOW did you do that Edward?!” the hysteria danced in her voice. I looked at her funny over my shoulder. She was incredulous, her hair mussed up, her cold lips wet and adrenaline causing her to blush. She looked delicious. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you might have hit your head.” I teased, letting a smile escape. 

“Are you some kind of superhero? I literally watched you dent the van with your shoulder, you saved me but somehow you’re driving around like nothing happened!” I set my jaw in a serious expression. “Bella, I’m fine. I don’t think you saw it how I saw it but I am not hurt. I’m taking you to the hospital so that they can take a look at you.You could be shocked.” She exhaled, I could tell she wasn’t going to let it go and then laughed. “Oh god, Charlie is going to kill me! Did I mess up my truck?” 

“Bella, you’re really worried about your truck right now?” I scoffed and pulled into the parking lot at the front doors to the Forks hospital. “Yes, it was a present!” she answered with no hesitation and I let my seatbelt furl back into its holder. “Bella, can I check your pulse?” I asked. She giggled once more, the sugary sound coating my thoughts. I reached forward and she met my hands at once. I hoped I wasn’t too cold for her as I cupped one of her hands in mine and used the other to feel for her pulse. It seemed relatively normal but I still wanted Carlisle to check her out. 

I looked up and Bella was mere centimeters from my face. I froze and heard her briefly thank me for saving her. “Don’t thank m-....” I began but was stopped as Bella’s beautiful face swept even closer. She was pressing her lips to mine and in that moment, I knew I was a goner. I felt her breath tantalize my tongue, and every nerve ending in my lips was alive with passion. I stopped myself from groaning into her mouth and I gently moved our lips together. Bella’s breath hitched and I could hear her heartbeat quickening with every smack of our lips. I was frozen with absolute fear though, afraid I’d lose control. 

She took it as an invitation to do what she wanted and she was fumbling for her seatbelt. It unfurled away from her and she was moving closer to me. This truly was the best thing I’d ever felt to date. Her lips were soft and pillowy, every movement of our mouth was practically in sync. Every movement she made I was chasing after her and something deep in my chest was awakening. Was it possible for an undead heart to beat again?

I could probably kiss her forever, our saliva was intermingling and I swallowed, feeling like my mouth was just dripping at the thought of this beautiful young woman in front of me. I thought I might reach out and touch her hair, pull her into my lap, let her feel how excited she made me but that’s when I heard Carlisle’s thoughts in my peripheral. 

I gingerly reached my hand up between us and lightly pushed on Bella’s sternum to get her to pull back. She gasped, lips swollen and she looked dazed and dreamy. She looked fucking gorgeous. “Why did you st-,” she began and then stopped when she saw my father walking up to the Volvo. They smiled at each other and then Bella back into her seat, her eyes appeared unfocused and she looked dizzy. I reached for her in concern but Carlisle was suddenly there talking to her and coaxing her out of the car. 

He asked if she needed a wheelchair which she vehemently denied and then he started walking her toward the front doors, throwing a worried glance back at me. I was about to get out and follow them when the police cruiser belonging to Charlie screeched to a halt in front of the hospital doors. Charlie slammed it into park and sprinted into the hospital and I thought it best to wait it out for a moment. 


	10. Set for you

By the time I saw Charlie leave the hospital again he was much calmer. I placed my hand on my car door and tried to read his thoughts but it came in snippets of “I’ll come get Bella later, she’ll be fine.” Interesting… I was having a hard time reading him too, but there was nothing like the resolute silence coming from Bella’s mind. 

I got out and my Linkin Park CD skipped to a stop. I closed the Volvo door and started to walk in. Hospitals were not my favorite place to be with everyone’s thoughts so sad, worried, angry and questioning. I found the nurse station where Carlisle was working today and the ladies smiled and giggled and let me in past the locked doors. I found Carlisle just leaving Bella’s room with his thoughts going over her MRI, she was going to be just fine really. He reminded her to report back if she developed any headaches and left the door ajar behind him. 

Carlisle saw me and smiled.  _ It probably was best that you saved her today Edward, I don’t know what the outcome would have been if she’d been hurt and you’d been there to witness. Or Jasper…  _ His thoughts trailed off. I smiled and gave him a one armed hug. “I couldn’t stand by and just watch. Don’t worry, no one suspected a thing. I overheard Rosalie already complaining to you.” I spoke quietly. Carlisle nodded and gave me a look that said we would talk more later. I nodded and raised my eyebrows at him and my eyes flicked toward Bella’s door. 

Carlisle laughed under his breath and nodded,  _ I can see how much you like this girl.  _

…

I entered the room to find Bella sitting with her back on a few crinkly hospital pillows. Her legs were crossed under her and her backpack was laid out as well, with the cords of her iPod video snuggly placed in her ears. When she saw me, she smiled wide and moved her backpack aside, an invitation to sit. I sat down on the mattress and couldn’t help but return the smile. 

“How do you feel, Bella?” I spoke, the shyness practically making me choke. She nodded and motioned toward herself. “I feel just fine! This is just all a precaution. I’ll be able to go home, they just want to make sure I don’t have a concussion.” I nodded at her and she offered me an ear bud. It was a little awkward to lean into her from where I was so she scooted herself forward and laid on her stomach, propping herself on her elbows and she motioned for me to join her in doing the same. I did and put the earbud into my ear to hear a familiar tune. 

“I was just listening to them in the car.” I practically exclaimed and Bella smiled and after a brief discussion on our love of Linkin Park, we talked about how Tyler’s parents would be receiving a call from Chief Swan, what we might be missing in class today and how it was nice to have an excuse to be gone. She closed her eyes and listened to the music until I thought she might have fallen asleep. “So, are you going to tell me?” she asked. 

“Tell you what?”

“How you saved me.”

“I didn’t save you.” 

“Then what was that?” 

“Can’t you just accept you were lucky and leave it at that.”  
“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want you to be honest to me.” she turned away from me and I could see a slight pout on her lips forming. Oh no, being an only child had spoiled her to get what she wanted. 

“Look, I just can’t tell you right now. Just not here.” I reached for some excuse. 

“When can you?” she questioned. 

“Maybe when we go to Port Angeles together.” 

“Ok, when do you want to go? Saturday?”

I thought of hunting with my family. I’d have to hunt to be ready to see her one on one in a few days. 

“I can't. How about the next?”

“I think Mike and Jess wanted me to go to La Push with them that weekend. Let me text her later and find out what day exactly. Would you want to go?”

“Not exactly.” I puffed out, more hostile than I intended at the thought of Mike trying to weasel his way into her life. Her eyes seemed annoyed but I couldn’t tell if it was because of my anger or something else. 

“I guess we’ll figure it out.” she said, and decided it was time to take a break from the topic and showed me how she navigated her iPod. I was scrolling through her music, commenting every time I saw someone I liked but a vast majority were artists I’d never heard of. She was gushing over her favorite Australian bands when she set her hand down on the bed again. Her hand brushed where mine was resting. I held my breath. She looked at me in wonder and tentatively inched her pinky toward mine. She intertwined them. I felt high from her touch. I felt dizzy and light but heavy at the same time. I looked her in her eyes, not afraid of making eye contact and neither was she. I smiled at her and looked away and I could sense her moving closer. 

I could also hear something. Rosalie was here. She was still angrily complaining to Carlisle about what I had done. He urged her to go home and we’d talk about it when we were all there. I let go of Bella’s pinky and took a look at her attractive face. Her hair fell forward and I had that stalker urge again to touch it. 

“I have to go.” I explained sheepishly. She just nodded and sat back onto her pillows. 

“I’ll talk to you later.” she said quietly from her bed as I was about to leave. I shut the door behind me without answering. 

…

I did not know that by the end of that night I would feel like I was cracking under the pressure of my family. They did not want to see me hurt. Alice predicted I would either kill her myself one day or she’d be one of us. She mentioned I would one day love her and that set everyone off. How could I love a human? How could I not kill her if I was so obsessed with her like Jasper felt I was. He said I felt erratic when I thought of her. I didn’t even want to begin to mention what Tanya had told me in Denali, what; that I will jerk off before I see Bella and always be way too full of blood? What if it’s not enough?

As I ran eastward, I found myself worrying about Bella. Had she gone home from the hospital yet? I ran past the streets in the residential areas until I came across a familiar looking squad car. Charlie was there. I tried to be discreet but it wasn’t dark enough yet. I ran back into the forest and jumped into a tree where the house was still visible. Around 7pm he left then returned and I saw her. I tried to swallow but my throat ached at her scent as Charlie walked her into the house and the scent of her home wafted around me. 

It smelled so cozy, warm, Bella’s scent so familiar to me. It was like home for me. I wanted to follow after them but I didn’t want to freak them out. Charlie would probably aim a rifle at me for all I knew. It was finally dark though so I inched closer and saw the lights come on in the upstairs room overlooking the lawn. Bella’s room. Charlie was fretting about her mentally but didn’t say much outwardly as he shut the door behind himself and Bella sighed and set her backpack down. 

I felt brave and leaped up to the landing. The eaves were older and I was afraid to make a sound. Seeing her reassured me that she wasn’t going to develop a concussion and die in her sleep. She looked happy and at peace and she pulled out her laptop to do some homework. I saw her eyes grow heavy and she fell asleep like that, with her laptop glowing in her lap. I leapt off the roof and ran back home.

I cursed under my breath as I came back home, I didn’t want to see my family and hear their disappointed thoughts. I decided to have a shower. Everyone left me alone to sulk and I left without them in the Volvo early. I noticed on my seat, I had left my jacket that Bella had returned. I’d forgotten about it. The sweet smell had permeated my car. Her oils from her fingers still lingered on my car door, the seat belt and the seat itself. I inhaled deeply and loudly, allowing myself this moment. I picked it up and pressed the wool to my face and sucked the air in raggedly. I would do so much to her if I could. 

I wanted nothing more than a kiss at that moment, I wanted her whole being. I knew I could have neither. I knew my family wanted me to stay away. But for now, I let myself have this. I felt aroused holding the jacket to my chest, wishing for it to be her. I set it down again on the passenger seat and drove to the school early, not waiting for my siblings. 


	11. Now I'm a Mile Away

The next few weeks were a blur of hunting and sulking for me. I wanted to please my family, myself, and Bella. I knew any involvement in her life could mean killing her accidentally, I was almost confident I would never do that on purpose. But if she remained human, how could I possibly love her safely? 

Everything in this world was a hazard, I only knew her briefly and I could see how prone she was to accidents and I didn’t want to be running after her saving her, physically or even from embarrassment. I contemplated why I was so indecisive with her when I tried to count how many days it’d been since we spoke. I watched her walk across the lunchroom and she threw her apple core at the trash can. 

“KOBE!” shouted Eric as the group watched her miss and she turned pink as she bent down to pick up the pieces of apple that had flown everywhere. She could probably tell I was staring at her because she looked up and I saw the tiniest twinge of sadness flicker across her face. 

I felt absolutely terrible and cursed myself. I wanted to talk to her so badly but I didn’t know what I would say. She was expecting answers and I had not come up with any excuses so far as to how I saved her that day with Tyler’s van. A debilitating knot formed in my throat every time I saw her. The guilt was drowning me that I couldn’t be honest with her. Knowing that none of the other student’s had anything new to say about my family and I made me sure she could keep a secret.

I looked out at another perfectly overcast day; the cold deepened every day and you could tell the Forks school council was trying to beat back the seasonal depression with the introduction of yet another school dance. Predictable. I watched several boys try to volley for her attention for this trivial spring dance. As much as I turned my nose up at the dance, my siblings still excitedly planned their nights, loving any excuse to get dressed up and dance. 

I realized deep down I was bitter at the thought I wouldn’t be the one that Bella would dance with that night. We wouldn’t be the ones palming at each other’s formalwear in the back of my steamed up Volvo. We shouldn’t be the ones bumping our teeth together in a stolen night all to ourselves; but God, I so wished we could be. 

I felt green with jealousy hearing Mike and Tyler’s thoughts as they pestered her to ask them to the girl's invitational dance, she politely declined but I heard her say she’d be going to Seattle that day instead. I couldn’t tell if she was being honest because I couldn’t read her damn mind. But Seattle was about 3.5 hours away, how could I take care of her if she went there? I thought of the last few nights how I’d pathetically searched my jacket for any trace of her scent, but it was dissipating. I think I was generally getting really sick of keeping myself from what felt like the love of my life. 

I set my mind to talk to her before she disappeared from the lunch room. I could feel the alarm in my siblings’ minds as I suddenly got up and walked toward her. 

“Hey, hey Bella.” I said, almost a whisper. Bella almost didn’t seem to register that I was talking to her. Angela and Jessica’s astonished expressions seemed to alert her more to my presence than my own voice had. Her friends started to walk away from her, with Jessica’s petty thoughts wondering what in the world I was doing there; she had been perfectly smug hearing from Bella that I hadn’t spoken to her since the van accident. Bella didn’t say anything just turned on her heel and started walking toward the back of the school. There was a light rain in the air falling down and I followed quickly after her. 

“Bella,” I began. 

“What do YOU want?” she asked with surprising coldness to her voice. So it had bothered her that I had been distant, but the thought that she had missed my presence had not even passed my mind. 

“I wanted to know about your trip to Seattle.” I said bluntly and she stopped walking and stared at me with disbelief. 

“First of all how do you know about that and secondly, what you’re not ignoring me anymore?” she scoffed. I could see her anger causing her cheeks to pepper with blood and then I smiled and the color deepened even more. 

“Bella, I am sorry for ignoring you, I just…” I began but didn’t know how to proceed. Not here, anyway, at Forks High School. 

“You know what Edward, I wish I could have saved you the regret, ya know?” She seemed to really be forcing herself to be brave and stand up to me. Her fists were balled but her eyes were slowly filling with tears. I leaned in as she stepped back until the wall of the school met her back. 

“Let me get this straight,” I said, continuing to come closer to her. I was absolutely mind boggled that she’d think I’d regret helping her. “You think I regret saving you?” 

She nodded, swallowing hard and I stepped another inch closer. She froze and her pupils dilated slowly, they flick ever so slowly from my eyes, to my lips, to my throat, to my eyes again. I would have to use some charm to get her to calm down and not be so angry at me. 

“Bella, I don’t regret anything, except maybe what an ass I’ve made of myself ignoring you.” she didn’t say anything and I could see she was fighting with herself but gave in and her shoulders and fists relaxed. 

“You kissed me and then stopped talking to me for so long. That hurt me.” she whispered. I wanted to kiss her again, right there. But the bell might ring soon. 

“I stayed away because I thought it would be the best thing I could do for you.” I tried explaining, she raised an eyebrow at me. 

“I don’t need you to do anything for me, Edward. I’m perfectly capable, thank you very much.” I felt a rush at hearing her say my name. 

“So you’re saying you’ll give me a chance to be your friend again?” I placed my hand on the wall right next to her head. She started looking again at my lips, my neck, back to my eyes. 

“I thought you didn’t want to though,” I cut her off with a small chuckle that escaped me,   
“Yeah, Bella. But it doesn’t mean I won’t do it.”

“You’re difficult.” she huffed in my direction. 

“I’ve heard that once or twice before.” I smiled at her and she looked at me with questioning eyes, as if to say, ‘where does this leave us now?’. I shrugged at her and told her to have fun in class and that I wouldn’t be going because it was the day we’d learn about blood types and I was severely anemic. 

She just looked at me again with wonder in her eyes as the bell rang out. I reached down and trailed my finger down her cheek and to her chin. She stared at me, wide eyed and then I turned on my heel and waved at her. She waved back but hadn’t made much in the progress of getting to class by the time I turned the corner.


	12. But I Still Love Her, I Don't Really Care

If I’m going to hell, I might as well enjoy myself right? I felt like I was walking on clouds knowing I was going to let my guard down. I’d talk to Bella, hang out with her, take her to Seattle, maybe kiss her again. Hopefully soon. I walked to my car to camp out and listen to the rain as I knew Mr. Banner would be doing a blood type lab with the class. I knew I’d probably pounce on Bella right away if I smelled her blood in the air. I closed the door of the Volvo behind me and reclined the seat behind me. I played some Fleet Foxes on my CD player and closed my eyes to look more conspicuous if anyone came up to my car. 

I started thinking of her. The fantasies in my mind were intense, sometimes I felt like they were growing in intensity. And then the images were wildly flashing across my mind of kissing her until she was breathless, caressing her thighs and back. I so badly wanted to know what it felt like. I could feel myself getting hard but it quickly died down when Mike’s thoughts came into my peripheral. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw him pulling Bella beside him haphazardly to another building at the school.   
Now what is going on? I thought to myself and a low growl was forming in my throat at the sight of Bella looking weak and pale beside him. I turned my car off and rushed toward them, slowing down when he noticed me.

“Hey, uh.” he started. 

I ignored him and touched Bella’s shoulder gingerly. She looked up and smiled weakly. I was so alarmed but could garner from his thoughts that she had not taken well to the blood lab either and was feeling woozy. 

“I can take her to the nurse, don’t worry.” I spoke to Mike with finality and he didn’t even argue and turned to go to class. I picked her up effortlessly in my arms and started walking, her warm thighs on my arm were EVERYTHING. 

She protested and asked me to stop. I let myself take in her scent unabashedly. 

“Please, don’t take me there. I don’t want them to call my dad.” She explained. 

“What do you want me to do?” I asked and she groaned a little, seemingly hit by a wave of nausea or something. “Please, let me lay down.” 

I figured my Volvo had a spacious enough back seat. I made my way there, I could even turn on the heat for her. I popped the door open and began to set her inside when she opened her eyes again. She smiled at me with gratitude and lay her head back, she curled her legs and propped them up. I assured her the rain on her shoes was not a problem for my seats. She could do anything she wanted, and I wouldn’t protest.

She laid her head back and began to breathe deeply. I opened the driver door and slid in, peeking over my shoulder at her as she gathered herself. 

“Wow, nice music.” she whispered after a few moments. I talked to her a bit about the CD’s I had in my car at the moment. She smiled and draped an arm over her eyes. I saw she was still wearing the same thin jacket, it lifted with her arms and exposed her belly. It was soft, pale, and inviting. I looked away before she caught me staring and thought she fit quite nicely in my backseat for future reference. 

She finally seemed to not have her world spinning. I took my jacket on my passenger side seat and draped it on her torso and her shoulders. She smiled and told me she was excited to go to Seattle and get to know me better. I smiled at her as well. She sat up and leaned forward and the overwhelming urge to kiss her was smothering me. 

“Can I sit in the front?” she asked, resting her head on the headrest opposite me. I nodded, dumbfounded at her closeness and her scent. She smiled and started inching her way across my arm rest, much to my surprise. 

Her shoes squeaked against my carpet protectors in the back seat as she not-so-graciously tried wedging herself in between the seats. I reached out to help her, my hands coaxing at her shoulders. 

“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea!” I laughed as she placed a hand over my stereo for stability. She laughed as well and I just let the natural feeling take over me. I pulled her toward me and her hips slid into my lap.   
“Thanks,” she started as her legs finally followed to the front seat but I pulled her closer. She gasped lightly, almost too light to catch and I looked at her, our faces inches away. 

“Is this ok?” I asked and she nodded, words evading her. 

“You’re so warm.” I commented, and allowed my right arm to snake around her hip and I clasped my hands together. 

“Oh! Your arms are cold. Don’t worry, I’ll warm you up.” She teased much to my pleasant surprise and then we both laughed; but I could tell her heartbeat was quickening. I hugged her a little closer and she reached an arm around my head so we could be seated a bit less awkward. She was just hanging there on me, her face was so impeccably beautiful. I couldn’t stand the tension. 

She initiated what would be our second kiss. I gasped into her mouth with surprise and she only deepened the kiss. It was more perfect than the first one, because we finally had our hands on one another. She stroked her right hand through my hair and I felt like I was burning wherever she touched. 

We were just pushing and pulling at each other’s lips, but she gently pushed my head closer to hers and I opened my mouth. We froze for a millisecond and then Bella’s eyes fluttered shut and we were kissing much more actively. I reminded myself to breathe and then I felt her scent fill my lungs. She sighed and let me take control. I was dangerously close to her. Every nerve ending humming with electricity. She reached back and flicked the heater off, and I knew things were getting hot and heavy. I was beginning to feel aroused.

“I’m sorry.” she said between nips. I pulled back to look at her. “I’m not usually forward like this but you make it hard to resist.” I leaned in and peppered kisses down her neck, her jugular was hot against my lips but I couldn’t think of anything to say at that moment. 

“You don’t have to hold back on me.” I promised to herself but also to myself as well. I could feel my resolve melting away. She giggled at my neck kisses and I tried to sneak another one in but she put a hand up in protest. I pulled back and realized the bell was ringing behind us for the next class. I’d been so absorbed in her I had tuned out all the voices, the noises, and even the hum of the bell. 

“Should we get to class?” she cocked an eyebrow at me and I nodded, aware of the burning thirst for her in my throat. 

“Let’s go,” I agreed, knowing we had plenty of time to spend together later on. If what Alice said was true, we would have a future together. I think my actions and choices would be the driving force on a future that kept her alive, warm and well. 

I knew she’d probably stay with me in the car if I asked, but I would not start this out as the bad influence that encourages Bella to skip class. I made no move to get her off my lap though, I reached down and pulled the clasp under my chair to make my seat slide back. I opened my door to the cold and I could feel the warm air Bella had created escape into the sky. She thanked me and started to turn in my lap, a slow crushing burn was scattering in my loins and I stopped breathing as her sweet hair passed over me. 

We were both wearing jeans and I could tell she felt my semi hard penis brush against her thighs as she got out of the car. She stared at me with wide eyes and we laughed again, I looked at her apologetically but she just stepped close to me as I got out of the car after her. 

“Edward, just don’t disappear on me again. I kind of like you a lot. I’m not sure if I can explain it.” she said.

“I think I know exactly what you’re talking about.” I smiled and pecked her lips lightly. She blushed and looked around but no one had witnessed my stolen kiss. I reached into the car and draped my jacket on her shoulders. I knew for the teenagers around us, wearing someone’s jacket or hoodie was as good as an engagement ring. Hopefully Mike and Eric, Tyler and even the other half of the school’s population would take the hint and stop hitting on her, for my sake. 

She thanked me and I locked my car as we walked back to the school. I reminded myself to not be too stalker, too overbearing and we parted ways even though I could tell she wanted to find some excuse to keep walking next to me. After our classes were finally over, I tracked her down in the parking lot. I opened her truck door for her and she hopped in, again a flash of her midriff. I practically followed her inside. 

“Bella, take care of yourself.” I said, stepping into her doorway. “I won’t see you this weekend?” she guessed. 

I nodded and explained I’d go hunting this weekend. She nodded, probably thinking of rifles, Colombia vests, and orange safety vests. I smiled at my perverse inside joke and leaned in, I pecked her on the cheek. My family saw me, an onslaught of emotions and thoughts came rushing from their brains and I smiled at Bella. I closed her truck door and smiled at her. She waved happily as she drove away. I returned to my Volvo, avoiding my family’s requests for me to go to them now, wanting to know why the sudden development. I sped home with them hot on my heels. 


	13. You Took Your Time

This weekend passed by quickly. I was 4 hours into the hunting trip with Emmett, who was the only one willing to come with me on a time we weren’t usually out hunting, when I remembered Bella would be going to La Push this weekend. I tried to tell myself she was an old soul, more mature than anyone I’d met in Forks, so she’d probably not be jumping into the ocean just because her friends were. 

Emmett and I were loping through the forest, not talking as much as we usually did and I started thinking about the relationships in my family. Much to the town’s shock, we were adopted under Carlisle’s care but our relationships developed over the last 80 years. Emmett and Rosalie had fallen in love instantly, and Rosalie knew the innocence in Emmett’s heart was something she craved in her life. They loved each other fiercely even to this day but I could tell oftentimes that Rosalie needed Emmett to bring her down to Earth- she could be airheaded at times. Originally, she’d been turned with the hopes that she might find me to be her mate. But it didn’t work out that way when I was not attracted to her beauty one bit. Much more, I knew I couldn’t bring her down to the Earth when she got too high the way Emmett did now countless times. Often, he commanded her to be humbled and from what I heard of her thoughts, she loved having him expect things of her that she could provide. 

Alice knew Jasper would come into her life as he wandered around, lost in War times and manipulated by women. She waited many years before they finally met, but their love was natural and interesting. Alice happened to always tell Jasper the future looked good when he was worried about losing control, or when he was unsure. They had a relationship of reassurance and spontaneity, often leaving together for long trips without us which at first made Carlisle nervous but not so much anymore. 

Lastly, Carlisle and Esme where Esme had actually known Carlisle. She had never forgotten his kindness and beauty and when she awoke, immortal, and realized her new reality, it was easy to trust him and I could hear his thoughts almost daily. 

_ I am so glad I chose you Esme, because you made me the man I am today. _

I loved how my family loved each other, I feel like I learned from them from watching them for so many lifetimes, but I always imagined finding it with someone else like me. I almost felt like my infatuation with Bella was a curse, what was she? I know her heart beat, and her skin was warm, but why couldn’t I read her mind?

All of the sudden, Emmett side swiped me and we tumbled into the brush, my light jacket tearing at the shoulder. I complained but he was actually shocked that he had caught me off guard. 

“Are you really so smitten that you’re letting your guard down?” 

“Yes, Emmett, I’m glad she has an obvious interest but there’s still so many unknowns.”  
“Don’t worry about it so much.”

“How could I not?”

Emmett contemplated telling me something he never had then decided to open up, I saw flashes of women in his thoughts, stark naked and throwing their heads back in ecstasy. I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Before Rosalie, there were other women, Edward. Most were vampires and willing to push their boundaries with a big guy like me. But there were 1 or 2 humans. I didn’t kill them. I think you might have more control than I did. I didn’t particularly love doing it with humans because you have to hold back A LOT, but you might like it more.”  
“Who said I was planning on doing that anytime soon?” I protested, but Emmett scoffed and moved to pounce on me again.

“YOU might not be looking to do that just yet Mr. Old Fashioned, but I know how humans react with us. They are practically unexplainably rabid with desire for us and they haven’t any clues as to why. I saw how she looked at you already, dreamy, head in the clouds type look. You might have to end up explaining more to her, for her sake. But give me a warning when you do so I can take Rose out of town.” 

We dropped the subject shortly after that when we smelled a pair of mountain lions about a half mile ahead. 

_ Ladies first!  _ Emmett thought and I laughed but sped up and led the way to our kill. 

...

When we got back home, everyone was focusing on their respective hobbies. I could tell that Carlisle had already done some damage control to everyone, explaining that he knew I was probably going to pursue something with Bella now and that it was my responsibility to deal with my successes and mistakes. He asked my siblings to be supportive and give Bella and I space until I felt comfortable introducing her to them. 

Alice seemed most upset about this since she had foreseen Bella and her would be friends one day. She still smiled and winked at me as she worked away at her computer. I let myself sit at my piano, a treasured gift from my parents, and I played around until a melody began to form. Esme was behind me then, smiling and setting a hand on my shoulder. She was happy for me, for the special person in my life. She thought of me as the best and brightest of us all and I sheepishly smiled and hugged her. 

I was so lucky to have her as my mother. 

After an hour or so of toying at the piano, I was bored and decided to go out for a jog, knowing I’d end up outside of Bella’s house again. I wanted to make sure she made it safe from La Push, anyway. The sun had already set, the chill was in the air, but my breath did not fog up to give me away. I perched on the farthest tree, still hesitant to get close and I heard sounds of a washer going, a shower head spraying down and Bella humming. Charlie did not appear to be home. 

Bella seemed to not be hurried or rushed to see him home anytime either. Do you think she’d let me in if I knocked at the front door? Do you think she’d be in a towel, hair dripping wet, cheeks flushed? I groaned at the thought and decided to get closer to her window. After a few minutes she burst through her door and to my shock she whipped her towel off in a flourish and placed it on her bed. She left the room again, stark naked and I was instantly aroused. I let my jaw drop open and I felt a burning desire across my body. A pang of jealousy ran through me as I wondered if anyone else would see her through her window. She seemed to be aware of this and drew her curtains closed.

Her steps were muted and flitted through her room until finally I heard the springs in her mattress move under her. I felt like such a creep at this moment. I should go home, I should stop peeping on her. I found myself being drawn closer, on the eves of her home. I went to the window and from a crack in the curtains I froze and caught sight of her again. The siding on her window was old and a hint of her scent was escaping to the outside. It was so fresh, like the earth after the rain, with her delicious scent wrapping itself around me. 

Bella was sitting on her bed, facing away from the window. Her door was locked, she had a candle lit at her bedside table and she flicked the light off. Her wet tresses tumbled over her shoulders, her spine leading down to her soft and supple looking ass. I couldn’t see the front of her but my imagination was running wild at how curvy she looked, feminine and ethereal. She looked like a maiden, a pixie, a princess. I wanted to worship her naked body. She had one hand poised behind her and then she drew her legs up, they were splayed open at her sides and she drew her right hand in toward her center. I then knew what she was planning to do and my head was spinning. 

I placed a hand over my mouth as I watched her softly touch herself, it was experimental and she shuddered and re-adjusted herself on her bed multiple times before settling on one position. She was practically at the edge of her bed, one leg hanging off and the other still propped up. I could hear the gliding of her hand across her skin, it sounded like she’d lathered her hand in something. I was painfully hard in my pants and I kept pushing my hand up as if I would knock but I stopped myself each time. I didn’t want to have to explain why I came to check on her like this. But I couldn’t draw my eyes away. I’m sure I’d come at the sight of what she was doing, I was glad I could only see her back. Her back was tensed, and I could see beads of sweat forming along her lower back. She sighed and I saw her body begin to rock back and forth. She groaned lightly, as if testing the volume of her voice then upped the speed of her rubbing. 

I would have to do my research of what she was rubbing at so furiously when she moaned. I froze, even more still than before. She seemed to be coming, finally achieving what she was chasing after. “Ohhh, ohhh oh.” she huffed out but did not stop rubbing at herself. She slowed and picked up again, chasing the sensation again. My teeth were grinding against each other. My desire was blinding me from reason, I’d have to get away, now! The thought of her sex drive right in front of me was becoming too much to take. 

I felt the flavor of my venom filling my mouth as I watched this beautiful woman rocking on her bed. She pushed on the hardwood with her toes and moaned again and this time she said something unmistakable. 

My name. 

“Ahhh, ahh, Edward, mhmmm. Yes, yes! YES!” she was really committed to the speed and intensity of her orgasm, fast approaching and then I saw her switch her hands quickly as she was close to climaxing again. I jumped away from the eves and the window as if I’d touched a hot oven. I landed not so graciously on the pine needles and wet ground and stumbled as if blind to the back of the house. I ran into the forest, her moaning and how she said my name repeating in my head on a hot loop. I got to a big tree, still within hearing distance of her and I heard her saying it again, my name. 

I could only wonder what she was imagining, but I had never been so clutched by desire. I pulled my pants open and my straining erection was flat to my stomach. I groaned and gingerly placed my hand on myself. I heard her breathless voice, calling out to me and then little sounds were escaping her, a straining sound. I groaned and gritted my teeth, I’d never felt my cock so hard. I only stroked it a few quick times when I heard her again, “Ahhh, ahh, yess, yes, Edward. RiGhhhtttT ThhEeerre.” she came again moaning long and hard, and I followed right away. I angled myself away from my clothes as my sperm squirted into the darkness of the forest floor. 

“Mmhmmm.” I had my lips pressed tight, afraid to make a single sound but still, something of a moan escaped me. I jolted upright after my release and zipped my pants up. Again, an intrusive thought to just go up and knock at her door and see what a mess she’d made of herself. I shook the thought away as I could hear Bella lay back on her bed. Her breath was coming in and out raggedly and I ran home with the sound of her pounding heart loud in my thoughts…


	14. Nothing prepared me for, What the privilege of being yours would do

After multiple *ahem* sessions with myself before school again, I was more than excited to see Bella. I felt a driving force of motivation that drew me to the high school. It took so much restraint to not go back to her window and watch what she was up to every night. But I thought about it over and over again, that was a given. Jasper had guests so I remained scarce at home knowing I would be the last thing on people’s minds. 

The school bell rang loud and twangy and I stopped myself from grimacing. I was on the outskirts of the campus, it was too sunny for me to attend class since I had PE that day and the gym was full of open sky lights that only really got sun on these rare days. I strolled around the campus, none of my siblings had even bothered to stop what they were doing so no one noticed I was out. I watched Bella through people’s thoughts, she jumped out of her red truck and I noticed one particularly hawkish mind zooming in on her. Mike… Newton…

I couldn’t even believe the cockiness as he encroached on her. Wow, he really thinks Bella would like him after she repeatedly deflected his advances? Give me a break! His thoughts were childish and naive, expecting Bella to say yes to his idea for a date. Doesn’t he know she already has me? 

Bella made me proud though, she tried being polite but was not subtle when she pointed out Jessica would be better suited to go out with Mike. 

_ You know what, she’s right. Jessica would be all over me in a heartbeat. Bella’s just playing hard to get. I’ll have to try again… _

Oh, no you won’t. I had to hold myself back from going up to him and dragging him into the forest to beat him senseless. Bella seemed relieved that he left her alone and she went back to her own devices. I went back home for a few slow hours and decided to quickly go through the notions of doing my homework for the next school day when I came to my Biology homework. Thoughts of Bella clouded my mind from the first moment we met, to her scent on my jacket, to the moans at her lips at the thought of me. I felt like I had won the lottery, which I have before. 

I felt so lucky to be in her presence, to know her, and knowing that I’d know her better. I couldn’t help it, when school was out I was circling the parking lot until I saw Bella wrenching her truck door open. She leapt up into it, and I let my eyes roam over her thighs as I drove by. She self consciously slammed the door shut beside her but when she noticed who it was she cranked open her window with an uncomfortable grinding sound. She smiled at me sheepishly and I smiled widely. The sun was still beating down on top of us but I only had the passenger window open, the tint of the other windows keeping me in the shadows. 

“Hi Bella.” she smiled at me wider, something about it assuring me I was making the right choice to invite myself into her day’s plans. 

“Edward,” she breathed and her hand went up to brush her hair behind her ear. “You weren’t in class today.” 

“No, I wasn’t feeling great. I was having some trouble with our homework in Biology.. Do you think..” I trailed off, with a shy feeling in my gut. Bella really was something else to me. 

Bella looked at me deadpan, obviously not believing I needed the help. I felt she might reject me and had my foot poised over the gas to leave from the embarrassment if I needed to. 

“Yeah, you know just follow me home and I can help you out before my dad comes home from work.” she offered, and I reminded myself to keep breathing as her eyes traveled over me. 

“If you… want to?” she continued and I realized I was just sitting there, paralyzed with the excitement to see Bella and be next to her. 

“Yes, that’d be great Bella. Go ahead and lead the way.” I smiled at her coyly, knowing damn well I knew where she lived. Bella had a tinge of pink to her cheeks as she nodded and jolted her truck forward leading the way. I felt a rush hearing Mike’s disbelieving thoughts as we drove right past him out of the parking lot.

…

Bella’s house was in the shadow right next to the trees Charlie kept rather unkempt around. I didn’t have to worry as I parked and jumped out, walking quickly to get her door. She smiled and thanked me, I reached out and she took my hand to steady herself as she stepped out of the truck. I loved the warmth of her hand in mine, I never wanted to let go. I did though even when she didn’t pull back. I had my book bag, with all intentions of pretending to really need her help through the assignment I knew all the answers to already. 

She asked if she could go to her room and I nodded, already holding my breath from taking in her scent too deeply. She went up the stairs and I heard her but couldn’t really see what she was doing. She seemed to be opening her closet multiple times, then she went to the restroom and seemed to run the water and then just stood and I realized she was steadying her breath. I inhaled her scent deeply, the burn creeping its way through every inch of my body. I relished in it, as I took a seat on the couch. I could tell Bella sat here many evenings by the way there was a soft blanket bunched up in the corner, and a pillow that smelled of her hair scent. Chamomile and her. 

She came down finally and I saw she had changed out of her jeans into some dark grey flannel pajama pants and had ditched her shoes upstairs. She had her hair tied up and was carrying her set of books and notebook. 

“Alright, where are you struggling?” she said joyfully and took her seat next to me, setting her things down. I was honestly in shock at her beauty, she was softer and more relaxed then I’d seen her in school. She was looking up at me on occasion, I was seated a bit taller than her and I tested my restraints by not crushing myself to her and instead turning to the chapter we were studying in class. I made up pretend questions, prodded her to keep talking, eventually we just were talking about what it was like living in Forks for her so far.

She was going on about how it wasn’t so bad but she did miss the big city lights in Phoenix, being able to go out in the evenings or a Sunday and most things were open. I smiled at her and asked her about her friends here, mentioning Mike by name. She laughed a little, pushed her textbook away, forgotten and covered her face in embarrassment. 

“You’ll never believe it, he tried asking me out today!” she giggled and I only continued watching her expression, smiling.   
“I believe it.” 

She smirked a little at that, maybe thinking I was joking with her but I went on,

“So, what did you tell him?”

“Well, I told him no obviously.”

“What, aren’t you interested in the water polo team’s finest?”

She laughed and shook her head, “No way!”  
“Are you?” I stopped myself, Bella made me feel like I could keep talking and talking despite the burn in my throat. 

“Am I what?”

“Interested in anyone?” 

I could swear she batted her eyelashes at me, I saw her body’s response as she allowed herself to look at me longer than usual. 

“Well yeah, am I not obvious enough?” 

“Obvious?” I questioned, and then Bella had moved closer. I felt her presence in a hot wave over me. 

“You didn’t really need help today, did you? You already know everything about everything.”  
“Do I?” I felt stupid, not being able to choke out more than a few words. 

She nodded, “You could just ask to come hang out if you want to be around me, Edward.” 

“I really do, I really want to be around you.” I said, my mind was pulsing with desire, I wanted to kiss her again, I wanted to feel her. 

“Then what are you doing all the way over there?” she asked and it was all the permission I needed to move closer to her. The couch cushions dipped as our weight combined and I was crushing my lips to her, maybe too quick as I heard Bella’s breath hitch. Her left thigh was flat against my right as we sat there next to each other. Bella let her head relax, and fell back. She was giving me control. I felt the fire ignite inside me and I placed a hand behind her neck. I pulled her closer, deepening our kiss and she hummed, showing how content it made her. 

I was practically shaking as I felt her tongue flicker on mine. I tasted her mouth, explored it slowly, she had her eyes shut softly, totally relaxing underneath me like putty. I used my other hand to push at her hip. She shuddered at my cold touch on her hip but angled herself better for me, back against the armrest, leg propped up while the other dangled open, inviting me in.

“Bella.” I said, pulling back. 

“Yes, Edward?” 

“I don’t know if I can do this, I’m so afraid of hurting you.” 

“You won’t hurt me.” she said, breathless.  
“How would you know that?” I felt dizzied with her presence, maybe this topic wasn’t the best to bring up when I was feeling so drawn to her and when all her space was invaded by my presence. 

“I feel like I’ve known you for a long time.”

“I feel the same way.” I moved close, setting a hand on her thigh. 

“Then why wouldn’t you let yourself have something you want?” she questioned, cocking an eyebrow at me. 

I felt a tingling in my chest, “Bella, I want you. But aren’t you scared?”  
“In a way. But I’ve still got time to figure you out. As long as you’re not going to run away again.”

“Never.” the fear of her asking too many questions of what I am prods me to move closer. 

I swallowed, her flavor becoming a part of me, and went back in again, kissing and nipping, our chests pressing together, her breath was quickening with excitement. I drew back, her scent was dizzying but her arms had found their way around me and she tried creating a vice to keep me close. 

I held back a groan looking down at her, her hair band had fallen out somewhere, her hair disheveled from my touch, her lips were puckered and pink, her eyes wide and full of lust. I thought of what she had done to herself to my memory, in this very house. Would she go to her room with me if I asked?

I reached down, applying pressure with my hand on her hip while I reached behind her to her lower back. I lifted her and crushed her hips to mine as our lips collided again. I was doing surprisingly well with control and after I had lifted her hips, Bella arched, using the momentum to try to swap our positions. I sat back, giving in, arm around her as she was suddenly in my lap, legs open and an undeniable heat emanating from her. I suppressed the urge to let my venom flow out of my mouth and she rolled her hips experimentally, her crotch in her pajamas gliding over my pants. I froze as her arms found their way around my neck. I had never felt this in the last century, it was unbelievably soft and warm.

Her scent was thick, enveloping every open space around us, I felt high, I felt engrossed completely to her will. I might have put the brakes on before too long but I knew Bella had me thoroughly wrapped around her finger and I was a goner. A goner. 

I breathed in shakily, my body almost overwhelmed with her smell, the lust hanging heavy in the air. She sighed and did it again, rolling her hips in my lap and the sharp contrast of her soft pants to mine gave her pleasure. Back in my time as a teenager, we did this too. I rocked up into her, and her breath was all the indicator I needed to keep going. She wished to be closer to me still, tightening her arms around my neck until her breasts were right in front of me, right in front of my mouth. I could smell her womanly pheromones strongly here, and a dash of some perfume. Did she know she would be in my lap today? I pushed my face against her chest, softer and more pleasurable than I could ever imagine. 

She groaned, her hips snapping back and back onto me, and then I felt my excitement growing. I hummed, looked up at her at the height of her grinding and her eyes were half lidded. 

“What… what am I doing Edward?” she breathed, the hardness of my dick undeniable even through my pants. 

“Just keep going Bella,” I said, a plea not far in my voice, “Keep going.” I encouraged her again. It was clear to me now that we were both doing this for the first time and I would never choose anyone else other than her. I wanted her so badly, her warmth smothering me. 

I imagined what it would be like to lose our clothes but the thought was too much. I moaned and it excited Bella, she crushed her lips to mine again, it might have drawn blood from my lip, if I bled. She was clumsier now, her caution thrown out with my encouragement to keep going. We kissed and kissed as she continued to crush her hips onto me. I sighed and pulled away, needing fresh air before I lost too much control. 

She pushed me down and I was laying on her couch, sprawled out and I could see she saw the wet spot on my lap. Her eyes widened and before she could think about it too hard I pulled her on top of me again, my hands grabbing around her waist. 

“Please don’t be embarrassed. I’m so glad you’re wet. Because of me. It turns me on SO much” my words were choppy, confused and my head was full of lust. She sighed and threw her head back, one of her legs bent while she used the one dangling off the couch to drive her on top of me. I let my head fall back and I watched her, relishing the sight of what a mess we’d made of ourselves. She continued to crush that SPOT on top of my hard dick, she practically jolted as we met, and then she was doing it again, and I could feel that wetness soaking through to me. I jumped, Bella scared and confused as I placed her to my side.   
I was familiar enough with my body now that I knew what would happen next. 

“Bella, I might. I might..” I couldn’t find the words without feeling embarrassed. She shook her head and inched closer still, 

“It’s ok, I want you to.”  
I looked at her, my eyebrows furrowing, not knowing if I could stand to come here, in front of her, underneath her, I groaned in frustration but when she asked if I wanted to I was kissing her again. I reached behind her and my hands cupped her ass. She was in my lap again, grinding into me with her eyes shut, she sucked at my lips. I encouraged her to move faster, so I could feel her more. I wanted all of her. She happily did so and seemed emboldened by my grip on her. Her hands gripped me harder, 

“Edward, I think I might…”  
“Mhmm, me.. Too.” I wanted to be Bella’s tool for pleasure until the Earth came to end. She ground into me and then she opened her eyes and she took me in unabashedly.

“Yeess. Edward. I’m…” 

I pulled her hair back behind her right shoulder and sucked at her skin, feeling her hot blood rushing underneath my lips.

She moaned and unraveled at my sucking, I had my eyes shut, not sure I could handle the sight of her coming. I thought of how she’d already come with me in her fantasy and that drove me over the edge. 

“Bella!” I groaned and the constant pressure on the head of my penis finally drove me to come and the waves of pleasure washing over me were unlike the times I’d done it to myself. 

I moaned loudly into the crook of her neck and she gasped, as I gripped her ass tightly, bringing her close. The air was full of electricity and we both looked down, my blue chinos with a growing stain making its appearance. 

She seemed unsure of what to do but I laid back fully and pulled her on top of me. We laid there like that until Bella’s heart returned to a somewhat normal pace. I stroked her hair like I’d been wanting to for what felt like years and she closed her eyes, at some point I thought she might fall asleep. I roused her from her state and she smiled at me, she looked like she loved me. 

“I should get going before…” I motioned to the driveway and suddenly she was aware again of who she was, and that her dad would be home soon. 

“I would like to meet your father, Chief Swan, but maybe when we have some clean clothes.” I explained. She laughed and agreed and led me to the door, with my bookbag in hand. “I’ll see you soon?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at me. I nodded and kissed her again at the door, she pecked kisses down my chin and then her eyes dashed to the clock on the wall again. I nodded at her and touched her chin again. 

“I’ll see you.” I promised and jogged over to my Volvo. Bella watched me dreamily and I heard her door slam before I was down the street, and Bella’s footsteps rushing up to her room. She was something else.


	15. Heavy in Your Arms

Moments after leaving Bella’s room, my thirst became apparent and as soon as I’d parked I’d announced I was going hunting. Alice joined me to the nearest spot we could think of and I was scoping out a kill when I noticed Alice staring at me. 

“You were just with her.” she observed. 

“I thought you could only see the future, not the past.” I teased. 

“It’s the way you smell, ding-dong.” she rolled her eyes at me and looked away, angry. I was surprised, out of all of my siblings, Alice was never mad at me. 

“What’s wrong?” I questioned, still frozen looking out into a field. 

“I don’t like what you’re doing.”

“Oh, I thought you were mad about something new.”

“In a way… Edward, the girl’s future appears in my consciousness more often now that she’s getting closer to you. But everyday it’s something different. Sometimes I see her like us, sometimes I see her alone, once I saw a vision of her without you but she was depressed looking, older. She was still in Forks, with graying hair, taking care of her aging father. I don’t think you understand.”  
I cut her off curtly, “Oh Alice, I understand what it means. Your visions are proof of what I feared, that I’m not good for her.” I felt the creeping depression encroaching on me at the thought of leaving her again, leaving Forks. 

Alice looked bewildered at my response, “Edward, you really don’t understand. My visions are all over the place because your desires are not set on one future yet. I’m not saying you need to do this now, but you owe it to her to be sure of your intentions. You owe it to her to be a sure man, and in those visions I see happiness and blessings.” 

I still have the creeping fear that if I set my mind to one thing, it will be harder to leave her for her safety and well-being. Maybe Alice is right though. I leap away in relief as I see a deer enter our clearing and pounce on it. 

...

After we are done hunting, Alice and I are taking our time walking through the night, occasionally commenting on falling stars and what trip Alice and Jasper might take next. Alice seems to be happy that she got to have this conversation with me, and in a way, I’m glad she did too.

She has a vision cross her mind then and I’m watching through her mind’s eye when I see it’s Bella on a road trip to Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela. I cock an eyebrow at Alice. 

“When is that? Bella hasn’t told me she’d be leaving town or anything.” 

Alice searches through the vision again for any clues but says “I’m not sure. Soon though, since it seems she was just invited. I can tell she doesn’t really want to go.”

I wonder if I could convince Bella to spend time with me instead but I knew what that would look like to her friends. I see a part of the vision before it escapes Alice and see Bella walking away from Angela and Jessica as night is falling on Port Angeles. What could she be thinking?

…

The next day, Bella does tell me she’s going to Port Angeles, but the sun is still too bright for me to enjoy school and seeing her. I’m sitting at home aimlessly when she calls me. 

“Bella, how’d you get my number?” 

“I might have seen it on a file in my office aide class period.” 

“I’m impressed, are you my little stalker?” I tease. 

She laughs into the phone but denies my accusation and explains that Angela and Jessica need her opinion on the dresses they’re going to try on.

I’ve already made up my mind that I’m not going to try to invite myself on this girl’s trip but I do want to be in Port Angeles as well, to keep an eye on her. I already got Carlisle to take my Volvo to work and I’d be driving his Jaguar SUV so I could be more conspicuous. 

…

As I drive into Port Angeles, it’s sunny and I can smell the ocean in the air. I crack the window and let the cold air rush in around me as I take in the quaint little town. All I can think about is Bella, though. I think of her breasts in my face, her hips connecting with mine and that sweet wetness in between her legs. 

I shake the thought of my little pixie as I remind myself why I’m there and begin to scope out Jessica’s little grey car. At some point, I finally spot it parked outside a boutique with large windows overlooking the main street. I catch glimpses of them as Bella sits nearest the window, throwing up thumbs up and compliments. If Bella could hear Jessica’s snide comments right now, I’m sure her reactions would be different. But she can’t, and Carlisle always advised me to not give away someone’s private thoughts. Shame. 

I am periodically tuning in to their thoughts, wondering when Bella might try to wander away. Maybe I can drive up and offer her a ride. I know she’d agree. 

I see a cop in a side-by-side atv pull up next to the Jaguar and I’m distracted. He gets out, not seeing me behind all the tint, and checks the meter next to my car. I cursed under my breath, I hadn’t been thinking to pay the meter so no one would see me there. He’s writing a ticket, thinking about how it’s a nice car and surely the owner can afford the ticket when I look up and notice Bella is no longer with Jessica and Angela. I quickly scan up and down the street but I don’t see her anywhere. I turn the car on and drive away before the cop can even give me a ticket and his bewildered thoughts swirl in my head as I begin scanning the street for her. 

Angela and Jessica’s thoughts are no help, since they also have no idea where Bella wanted to go. Just that she was headed to a book shop. I am looking at every store, wondering if the book store is near or far. If it is within walking distance, then Bella couldn’t have gotten too far, right? 

Panic started to set in as I drove around and darkness was falling on the town. I started scanning into people’s minds like frequencies but no one seemed to find a girl shopping very remarkable. Then,I came across a mind that had been lurking in the shadows behind her. 

_ Nice ass. Wonder how old she is. Who cares? Me and the boys are going to have fun with this one.  _

__ I can hear an unknown crass voice talking about my Bella. I stomp on the gas in desperation but I still have no idea where I’m headed. The voice is getting closer though and I’m feeling furious. Minds like his are familiar to me. I hunted men and women like him before. Vermin of the earth. 

I’m seething with anger and start to put together the scene that he’s seeing, the buildings looming around Bella, her face turns and she screams at him to stay away from her. I punch the gas, aware now where they are. I swing sharply into an alleyway and I can hear cars honking behind me. I’m close now, hearing the disgusting man’s thoughts of how he was going to have his way with Bella and leave her in the streets. I yell in pure anguish and then I see them, behind a few stores, dark except for one dim street lamp. There’s more of them, dim witted and evil and I spin the Jaguar in a screech to a stop right next to Bella. 

I jump out and Bella looks so terrified. “Get in.” I bark at her, anger clouding my vision. She does, no hesitation, relieved at the sight of me. I rush forward and want nothing more than to pummel these individual’s faces in. They’re all in shock that I foiled their plan, but not scared of me, they just see a teenage boy. I go to the one that was threatening Bella, the one with the idea to follow her and he is looking at me with laughter in his eyes. I shove him, once, hard right in the chest. 

His clavicle immediately caves in, dislocated and pressing in on his heart. He’s gasping and several of them turn to run. I decide not to chase, not to scare Bella any further and I can hear one of them panicking and calling 911, I doubt someone would get there soon enough to save this criminal.

I turn on my heel, catch Bella’s expression. She’s still scared out of her wits. I get in and the tires squeal as I peel out of the lot and into the alley again. I reached across a frozen Bella and pulled her seat belt across her as I drove. She grabbed at it as a panic set in and clicked it into place. 

...

“Are you ok?” she breaks the silence, and I almost want to laugh. 

“Bella, I’m completely fine. I’m more worried about you. Those pieces of utter shit wanted to hurt you.” 

“I’m so glad you found me. But how?” I wonder if I can deflect her question, I am back on the main street, the street lamps are on overhead, it’s well lit, I feel safer with her. 

“Bella, can you distract me. I still want to turn around and rip their heads off.” I say through gritted teeth. 

“Park here.” she tells me, pointing at the first spot she sees. I do. 

I punched the car into park and sat back, eyes closed, every muscle tensed to jump out of the car and find them again. I felt her hand on mine and I jumped involuntarily. 

“Edward, it’s ok. I’m ok.” 

“I barely made it in time.”

“I’m glad you did.” She breathed, I tried to swallow back the blood thirst in my throat and looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed red, the adrenaline had her eyes wide open, her hand was slightly sweaty. I sighed and intertwined our fingers. 

“I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.” I leaned in and hugged her to me. She strained against her seat belt, trying hard to get as close as she could to me. I inhaled her scent and then she pulled back and I desperately needed the distraction as her lips met mine. 

I sighed into her, feeling like I’d been having withdrawals from her sweet scent, her warmth and kindness. She kissed me slow, urging me to calm down and knowing that she needed me there changed my plans to go find those men again. As long as she was ok, she was all I needed. 

...

We kissed until she pulled away she peppered kisses to my ear and whispered, making me shiver with pleasure. “I think Jessica and Angela will be worried for me.” She spoke. 

I pulled back and nodded, knowing we’d be finding them together since I wasn’t letting her out of my sight. She let me know what restaurant she was meant to meet them at and I headed that way. 

Angela was happy to see Bella, but Jessica was surly at best and suspicious as to why Bella had disappeared for over an hour and reappeared with me. 

_ How convenient. _ She thought, and when I looked at Bella, I saw the adrenaline was wearing off. She looked tired and shaken up but she kept a smile on her face. I smiled at her and decided I’d get her a bite to eat here at this restaurant. 

“I think I’ll be stealing Bella away from you tonight. I want her to get something to eat and I can drive her home.” Angela smiled in agreement and Jessica didn’t put up any argument since she was thinking of her parents expecting her home at a certain time. 

“Yeah, alright Bella. We’ll see you at school.” she said and turned on her heel. Her jealousy toward what Bella had was going to be annoying to deal with. As soon as she was gone, I felt more relaxed and I put an arm out for Bella to hold. She came close, squeezed even closer as I opened the door for her and we both walked in. She was so cozy. 

It didn’t take long after we met the hostess for me to want to tune her out. An onslaught of jealousy, horny comments, and disbelief were tumbling around in her brain as she seated us in a private booth, at my request. I quickly asked for water and Bella asked for a cherry coke so she could leave right away. 

“I don’t think I’m very hungry, Edward.” she explained, not wanting to take the menu I was handing her. 

“Humor me.” I responded and the waitress returned, coke and water in hand. 

“I’ll have the mushroom ravioli.” Bella told the waitress without scanning the menu long, even though the waitress was trying hard to get my attention. 

“Alright.” the waitress said curtly and turned on her heel. Bella cocked an eyebrow at me. 

“She seems to like you.” 

“That’s annoying.” I spoke honestly. 

“It’s like you dazzle or scare everyone you meet.”  
“Which one are you when you see me?” 

“Oh yeah, definitely scared.” she teases.

I smile at her, then brush my foot under the table cloth to brush against hers. She looks away from my gaze and bites her lip.

Definitely dazzled. 

“I have a few questions.” I said, ready to chastise her for walking in an unfamiliar city all alone. 

“So do I.” 

“You do?”

“And theories.”

“Theories???” I am watching her closely, but her face gives nothing away. She nods and then the waitress is back with the ravioli and a new coke. Bella still doesn’t acknowledge me and begins to eat. 

“Well, go ahead.” I say after she finally looks at me again. 

“Why are you in Port Angeles.” 

“Mhm, next.” 

“Uh, ok? Let’s just say I’ve been thinking about your mysteriousness. How are you able to tell what people are thinking, Edward? Hypothetically, can we pretend you have a special ability? How would you know that those guys were planning to hurt me?”

I am actually shocked that she’s guessed it, it seems she’s more observant than I thought. “It’s not hard to guess what they were thinking.”  
“But you didn’t guess, did you?” she counters and I’m suddenly reminded of Chess and I feel like this is what Bella is doing with her words. 

“Maybe.” I say, leaving it open ended. I decided I’d be more comfortable talking to her in the car about these types of things. 

“Answer me this Bella, why do you seem to attract so much trouble? Nothing ever happened in Forks and then you came along.”

Bella ponders this, there was no denying her life was more trouble now that she’d moved from Phoenix. 

“Do you consider yourself in this category as well? Trouble?” she asked. 

“Unequivocally.” 

“So you admit it?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re attracted to me.” 

I laughed, there she went, playing her moves on me. I nodded and reached out, she placed her fingers on top, drew mindless patterns on my skin. I encouraged her to eat since her plate has now appeared and while I saw she was too busy to talk I lowered my voice. 

“Bella, I knew you’d be in Port Angeles and I was following you to make sure nothing happened to you. And the worst thing possible happened.”

“How did you know?” she said between bites. 

“I’ll explain more later but once I was here I just listened to Jessica and Angela’s thoughts near the store, keeping a tab on you if you will.”

She didn’t seem as weirded out at the thought, just curious. “So, you’re saying you can’t hear my thoughts?” she questioned. 

“Only if you tell them to me yourself.” I said, shaking my head no. She seemed incredibly relieved at this and continued eating. Somehow my confession that I could read minds and follow her was not alarming to her. She seemed to be making sense of it all, how I read those criminal’s minds. She seemed to have more questions but I asked for the bill and we headed out before we lingered too long. 


	16. The Difference Between Poison and Medicine is the Dose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for commenting! I will keep going going going!

If I thought sitting at the restaurant was hard with Bella so close, the car once again was a nice reminder that I wanted to drink Bella’s blood. I decided against asking to open the windows now that it was evening and considerably colder, especially with the moisture in the air. I turned on the heater in the car for Bella right away and sat in the parking lot while it warmed up. She seemed thankful and reached out to warm her fingers in the vent. 

We started driving and I was doing my thing, driving fast, the proximity to other cars just a habit now since I could hear their thoughts. 

“I have a few more questions.” Bella began.

“Oh, you do?”

“How is it that you can find me sometimes, if you can’t read my mind.” 

I think about that one, wondering if I should delve into detail about how I read other people’s minds to see her going about her day. I decide it’s too much too quick and just say that I can smell her scent, which isn’t totally untrue. She cocks an eyebrow and I see an expression flit across her face that seems self conscious. 

“Don’t worry,” I say, reaching out to place a hand on her thigh. She is more still than usual at my touch, and her mouth is slightly agape as I can only imagine she’s wondering if she stinks. 

“You don’t stink Bella, I don’t know how to say this exactly, but you smell amazing to me.” 

She makes a small noise of acknowledgement but seems to be distracted. 

“Will you tell me your theory about me and I’ll fill in the blanks?” I ask. She nods and takes a deep breath. I relax my fingers on her thigh but leave my hand there, the warmth is drawing me. 

“I didn’t come up with this theory on my own, mind you.” She adds, collecting her thoughts. 

“Really, what inspired you?” I prod, wondering what books she’s read or movies she happened to catch on cable. She seems to be brave enough to continue. 

“When I went to the beach with everyone. La Push.” my interest is piqued at this, what could she have seen on the Quileute reservation that reminded her of me? Maybe some cold, wet bat clinging to the cliffs at the ocean side. 

“I ran into my old friend, Jacob. I’ve known his family since I was a baby.” she continued, “He told me some old tribal story about ‘cold ones’.” 

“Did that remind you of me right away?” I asked, she shook her head right away. 

“He actually mentioned your family.” I felt anger at that, wondering why this Jacob would be talking about my  _ family. _

“Not in a bad way, I mean he kind of made it seem like that's why people that live there might not like your family, because of some treaty, some disagreement hundreds of years ago. He didn’t seem to believe it but he said people pass down these stories for a reason. Some of his friends seemed standoffish when I mentioned I had invited you. It really threw me off.” 

“Hmm,” I added to her explanation. I pressed my thumb in a circle on her thigh. She reached down and held my hand with both of hers, she was blissfully warm. 

“I went home and I did some research online, found out there was some book about local folk tales such as the one Jacob was telling me about so I decided I wanted to check it out.”   
“Hence getting yourself nearly killed.”  
“Exactly. But seeing you show up tonight just solidified my theory further so it really helped me decide.” 

I was worried at what she had decided, had she finally decided to stay away from me? Was she going to friend zone me? I wasn’t ready!

“Decide what?”

“That I wouldn’t care anyways.” 

“Care about what?”

The pause that follows is heavy in the air.

“That you’re a vampire.” I almost flinch at her saying  _ it _ but I catch myself. So she really had figured it out. I need to stop underestimating her. I’m almost panicked at having to be so honest with not only her but myself. 

“Am I wrong? I would be very embarrassed if I was wrong, trust me, it took a lot of resolve to convince me a fiction like this could be a part of my reality.” 

“Bella,” I begin, “You’re not wrong.”  
“Are you mad at me?” 

“Why would I be mad?” I squeeze her hand lightly and she smiles and looks out the car window. 

“You might regret saying it doesn’t matter though.” 

“Why?” she asks, looking back at my profile. 

“Because, I might love you for the rest of your life if you say that.” I  _ feel  _ her blush from across the stick shift. I really wish we were in her truck right now, able to sit right next to her. Able to prolong the drive home. 

She ponders this then responds, “Oh I thought you wanted to eat me.” 

“You say that as if you’re disappointed.” I say, practically laughing. 

“What!” she laughs, I squeeze her thigh lightly and tickle her, she laughs even more and it’s music to my ears. 

“Who says I won’t?” she gets serious at that and decides to change the subject. I guess that’s something she’s not ready to discuss...

“Are you super old Edward?”

“Maybe,”  
“How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”  
“How long have you been seventeen?”

I’m glad I found someone who takes these heavy topics so lightly, “A while.” I say, a bit sarcastically. 

She seems satisfied but I know more questions are brewing underneath. 

“Edward,”  
“Yes,”

“Will you go with me to the drive-in movie on Monday night?”

I’m just pulling into Forks, focusing on the turns but the question almost throws me off. Finally, I remember the colorful posters around the high school advertising the drive in movie they’d be hosting Monday night before the school dance that weekend. 

“So you’re not afraid of me?” I ask, I had had the fleeting thought that her confirming I was something so dangerous, so callous, would scare her away. 

She shakes her head and I see her scanning the streets, knowing she’s close to being left at home. I guess she saw her chance and took it. 

“No, I would like to keep talking about this stuff as well, you can pick me up a little while before. Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” I respond, we are close to her house now, and I see Charlie’s cruiser is gone. As soon as I park, Bella removes her seat belt. I take in her appearance, her hair is tousled by the port wind, her lips, slightly chapped, her cheeks, pink as always. 

“I will come and pick you up then, it’s a date.” I promise, she is still holding my hand. I reach across with my left hand and undo my seat belt. She has my fingers entwined in hers, does she know how much I’ve become entwined in her? Does she know our lives will become entwined from now on?

“I’m so happy.” she says, and something pulls in my chest. 

“Me too, more than you can know.” I say honestly, I would do anything for her. Including keeping her safe, even from me. 

She looks at the dashboard at the time, decides she has a window of opportunity, and leans in, eyes fluttering shut. I lean in and kiss her good and wet, no more niceties pretending I didn’t want my tongue exploring her mouth. She lets go of my right hand and traces her finger on the collar of my shirt. She suddenly is pulling me toward her, craving me closer. I let myself be pulled forward by her, careful to not topple onto my gear shift. I’m balanced on the edge of my seat, I nip at her lip, and the skin breaks. I pull back right away but her blood has hit my lip. I suck the flavor inside, it’s so good I just stay frozen looking at her. 

“What is it?” she asks, looking flustered. 

“Your lip.” I say and she touches the spot, realizing it stings. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” she says, somehow taking responsibility for my weak resolve. I shake my head and reach out, stroking her side. 

“It’s ok Bella,” I plead with her, “It was my fault. It tastes… if you can imagine.” I cock an eyebrow at her and she laughs and leans in again.

“What are you doing?” I say, stiffening my hand to keep her at arm’s length. 

“I want to be kissed one more time before I come inside.” 

Ughh!  _ I want to be kissed?  _ That’s it. Bella is officially crazy. I just tasted her blood and here she comes, teasing me. I throw caution to the wind though and lean in, kissing her again. I push against her, her jaw angles where I need it, and I’m kissing her slowly, she’s panting. I taste the hint of her blood in her mouth, I swallow it back, feeling the monster inside me begging me for more. I suck at her lip, a little forcefully and feel a bit more of her blood on my tongue. I don’t think Bella realizes, nor I for that matter, that it’s a pleasure that will surely drive me insane tonight if we don’t stop. 

Bella is tracing the inside of my lips with her tongue, slow and languid when she is coming closer, I’m no longer trying to suck up the flavor of her blood, I’m frozen, thinking to myself that I need to be good. I must be good. 

She doesn’t seem to care, and she’s pushing closer to me. I lean back, giving her space and she’s crawling into my lap, the sensation of her warmth in my lap is so gratifying.   
I forget about the world around us, I forget about Chief Swan coming home. I only feel her leaning on my left arm, her legs draped on her now empty seat. She puts an arm around my neck, I lean down and I’m kissing her again, keeping my breath in while I feel her panting and arching into me. 

“There’s something about you.” she says, pulling away, looking sexy and glorious. I lean down and kiss at her neck with fervor, thinking about how I could have lost her tonight. I suck a little more than I originally wanted to but Bella doesn’t seem to mind and she’s arching into me. 

“Are you not worried that I will eat you?” I say, lightly tracing her skin with my teeth. She shivers and her mouth opens once. She doesn’t even know what to say. I’ll have her believe I will eat her, it’s funner this way. I’ll explain on our first date that I’m a vegetarian anyways and I laugh into her neck.

She laughs as well, even though she doesn’t know what I’m thinking and I let my hand that’s been resting at her hip travel down to her thigh. She pulls back, looking at me with curiosity. Was I nothing but a curiosity to her? I hoped not. 

“I think I have to go inside.” she explains and I see the clock is somehow sped up because I feel I haven’t had enough of her. I nod and pop open the door. I pull her out with me, holding her in my arms, bridal style. She laughs and asks me to set her down but the thought to carry her into the house, as if she was my newly wedded wife, crosses my mind. I would have to be patient for when that day comes. 

She is holding on to me tightly, even though I know she’s not ready for me to leave I set her down. She looks at me with wonder, then walks into her home, I can tell she wanted to say something but didn’t. She waves from the window in her living room, I wave back. Once I know she’s safely inside, I leave and there is an empty pit in the seat where she had sat. I miss her already. 


	17. Have I Found You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not me writing smut with no plot! lol

Arriving at home was interesting, to say the least. I felt like I had a headache afterwards, if vampires even had headaches. I was faced with an onslaught of questions from everyone, all of them sitting in the living room, perfectly poised. 

_ You worried us, you didn’t tell us you’d be leaving town.  _ First, it was Esme. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you all, it was a bit complicated.” I began answering everyone’s questions. 

_ Why was it complicated? We want you to be with Bella if you please, but that doesn’t mean we should be left out of the loop for any reason. Our safety is imperative as a family first Edward.  _ Next was Carlisle, as understanding as he was, he had watched Esme fret all evening. My siblings started in on me. 

_ We didn’t think you’d even come back tonight. _

_ Alice had a vision Bella was attacked by someone in the dark, we thought it could be you. _

_ What did you do? _

_ Was it even worth it, putting your secrets at risk? _

_ What does Bella know now, presuming she’s alive and well in her bed at home? _

_ Hey, it’s me Emmett. Did you guys fuck yet? How do we know it’s serious? _

“Look, everyone! You have to give me space to think. Bella got lost in Port Angeles. I wasn’t necessarily there with her but I’m glad I could help her when I did. There was a disgusting man out to hurt her when he saw her walking alone.” I burst out, feeling overwhelmed hearing all their thoughts at once. 

_ You killed this man, didn’t you? What does this mean for you, are you going to be out of control again?  _ Asked Jasper, his eyebrows pinched together in concern. 

“No, NO! I am not going to go on a killing rampage. I’m not going to regress into who I once was. I just had to help her, I don’t think you understand my insane desire to keep her safe. She’s so fragile, so human!”

Rosalie interrupted next, the most scalding voice in the room.  _ Well, maybe if you hadn’t chosen the most accident prone junior in Forks to fall in love with, maybe we wouldn’t be here wondering if we’re supposed to leave home or not. _

“Look, nothing is going to happen, I’m sure those buddies this criminal was with didn’t get even a good look at me when I did what I did. They don’t want to explain anyways what they were doing cornering a young girl in the dark anyways. I stand by what I did. You would have helped too, Rosalie. I’m sad you don’t think about what happened to you and don’t immediately take Bella’s side in this.” I stared at Rosalie as I said this. 

Rosalie hissed at me, anger coursing through her. “I will never take Bella’s side because if you really knew me Edward, you would know I take her human side and not the selfish side you share where you see a future of changing her into one of us the first chance you get.” she shouted. Emmett got up immediately and started to escort her out. Jasper started trying to bring down the energy in the room, I could feel how the air felt thicker. 

“Look Rosalie, I’m going to love her as a human. I have more resolve than I thought I did. I’m not going to hurt her but if you think I’d let her be hurt, you’re mistaken!” I said through my gritted teeth. Rosalie stormed out and Emmett winked at me and ran out after her. Alice came over and put an understanding hand on my shoulder. Jasper only nodded at me, a sign of respect. Esme hugged me after my siblings left and I was left with my adoptive parent’s thoughts, as they realized how deeply and quickly I had fallen for Bella. They were realizing how I was now hers and they could only give their blessing and hope nothing bad happened.

...

*Night of the drive-in movie*

The next day, in school, the biggest story that could ever hypothetically graze the Forks High School Gazette broke. Bella was dating me, Edward Cullen. So many were in disbelief, until they saw us walking together. Bella and I tried to ignore the stares as we people watched, walking through the school. She had thrown her arms around me in a huge hug when I’d gone to her truck door to help her out in the morning and Mike was quick to spread the rumor that ‘Edward the freak’ was now dating Bella. 

Nobody seemed opposed to it other than Mike; Jessica was internally seething with jealousy. Mostly, it solidified people’s thoughts that Bella must be weird if she was going to date me. It didn’t phase me at all to hear that. I just pulled Bella close when we walked in the hallways and when she tried to peck me on the cheek at the doorway to her first class, I leaned in and reminded her that I was old fashioned and left her there, to pine after me instead of being  _ that _ couple that displayed all their affections in front of everyone. 

I showed my affections in different ways, carried her books, made sure her lunch tray was full… I made a makeshift umbrella with my jacket when I escorted her to the greenhouse during biology, I pulled her chair out for her. I inhaled her scent deeply as often as I could but Bella didn’t seem to notice. I got close to her, teasing her, but never put our love on display for everyone to run wild with the images of our affection. It was gratifying to have Mike stop thinking about Bella for once, because now he couldn’t stop picturing her with me. 

It was the night of the drive-in movie and I was properly excited, I’d asked Esme to trim my hair, I’d laid out an outfit. I brushed my teeth and flossed extra hard after an impromptu hunt with Jasper, I wanted to be ready for our date. 

Bella called me from her house phone to see when I would be around to pick her up and I responded that I was leaving now. 

“Make sure you tell Charlie who you’re going out with tonight.” I reminded her.

I could just imagine the face she was making, trying to think of a lie. 

“Why do I have to do that!” she responded for the third time since I’d mentioned it to her. 

“So I have incentive to bring you back home, Bella.” 

She laughed and then seemed to pause and calculate how much time she had then she excitedly hung up with me, assuring me she’d tell Charlie. I smiled at the receiver, then I told Esme I was on my way out. She kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand. I got into my volvo, a rose from Esme’s greenhouse wrapped in Baby’s breath and paper tissue on the seat next to me. 

I began to feel a tightness in my chest as I arrived, I was actually nervous. I hadn’t seen her outside of school aside from sitting next to each other in English class watching a movie early that day. We’d both been frozen next to each other, feeling each other’s undeniable need for physical contact pulsate in the air. 

I’d never been so horny. But I’d hunted down a mountain lion and doe earlier so I should technically be ok. 

It was weird to be stuck in my seventeen year old body, because I feel like my old torrent of hormones was coming back. I woke with a boner almost daily now. I would be ashamed, I would talk myself out of peeping through Bella’s window, I would fantasize what it would feel like over and over again. I thought of her thigh, the way it felt in my hand in my Volvo. Do you remember what it felt like to go on your first date?

I arrived at Bella and Charlie’s home and saw her head appear in the window in the living room. She shouted her goodbye at her father and was hurriedly rushing toward me, a bag and blanket under her right arm. Charlie didn’t seem to want to smother Bella so he stayed a half step behind her. When she closed the door behind herself, Charlie took a slow peak out of the window and I waved. He dropped the blind back in place and seemed embarrassed and decided to put the game on.

I opened the door for Bella, she looked absolutely stunning. She’d done something else to her hair, maybe had it in a bun before because it was falling in loose ringlets across her back. Her eyes were glossy, full of excitement, her lips tinged with a pink gloss. Hmm, wonder what that tastes like?

“Ms. Swan.” I said playfully, opening her door wider. She laughed a little and placed her things into the backseat. She put her seat belt on as I walked around and sat in my seat. “Ready?” I asked her. 

“Ready!” she said happily and I wrapped her hand in mine, holding the stick shift with both our hands, we sped off. 

…

“What’s in the bag?” I asked Bella, and she seemed eager to answer. “I have some snacks to have while watching the movie, yes. I know! Just for me! Some napkins so I don’t make a mess in your car, two camping pillows, one for me and one for you. I have my chapstick, and I brought the blanket to stay warm. 

“Wow, you came prepared!” I exclaimed, she laughed and nodded and then disclosed Charlie had also instructed her to bring along some bear spray with her. I laughed at this and squeezed her hand a little tighter. 

“Well, he’s a smart man. You might need it to keep me away from you.” I told her. I made the mistake of looking into the mirror and seeing her expression, her eyes were dreamy. She wanted me to touch her so much. 

I pulled into the parking lot and Bella pointed out a private spot near the edge of the lot, with a willow’s branches draping down over the spot. I didn’t mention anything about her being really far from where they were projecting the movie, but instead wondered if her motives were even centered on that movie anyways. 

We got out and started doing what the other students were doing, setting up their pillows and blankets for a cozy spot to watch the movie. I put my seats in the back down so we’d have room to stretch out… together… 

I remembered my rose from Esme’s garden and presented it to Bella as she was finding a nice spot for her bag. She smiled big, commented that she loved baby’s breathe and inhaled the scent deeply. “Thank you so much.” she said, climbing into the flat makeshift bed we’d just made in my car. I climbed in with her, my senses perking up as I closed the trunk on us. She lay down first and I sat there, pretending to fuss with the heater until she opened her arms at me, not saying a word. 

I understood, and lay my head on the crook of her shoulder and neck. Her scent was so lovely here. I draped an arm over her, snuggling in close. I pulled my legs up to fit there next to her. She closed her eyes and looked so content in that moment. I lay still, adjusting to her scent so close to me and then the lights in the parking lot flickered off and the giant screen up ahead lit up with the night’s picture show. 

The night was so cold outside, but the windows weren’t fogging, Bella’s breath the only one warm in the car tonight. I watched the movie with her, feeling my skin become warm where it was in contact with her. She made small comments on the movie, teasing me that I must have been an extra in this old film. I gasped at her comment, “Bella! You’re calling me old? Well then what does that make you?!” I exclaimed. 

“I guess I’m head over heels for you.” she responded. We looked at each other then, right into each other’s eyes. I took initiative and leaned in, capturing her lips in mine. Bella let me. I breathed in her sweetness, peppered her neck with kisses, she let me. Bella’s hand made its way into my hair, I let her. She arched into my body and moaned into my mouth, I encouraged her. We were lost in our own world, exploring each other’s bodies like the night we ‘studied’ at her house. 

I sighed with content, the back of the volvo wasn’t the most spacious, but it was everything we needed right now. I inched a hand under her shirt to feel her soft skin and was met with the satisfaction of feeling her skin erupt in goosebumps at my touch. She turned her head, hiding it in my chest, shy at meeting my eyes. I felt all across her skin on her midriff, inched my way to her back. She was unbelievably warm. I wanted to be here forever, next to her. 

She turned her head up, eyes still closed and met my lips. I was being consumed by her flavor, her hair sashaying across my cheek, her leg entwined in mine. I pulled her even closer, she hummed approvingly. I felt her pull my lip gingerly between her teeth and everything became heightened. I pulled back and when she looked at me concerned I just leaned in. 

“Do that again.” I whispered. Bella nipped at my lip, and then worked her way to my jaw. The feeling felt better than anything. I was always the one working my jaw away at my meals, biting and sucking away, but feeling Bella’s teeth graze my skin was making my erection grow until it was painful in my jeans. 

She noticed it, too. I moaned at her suckling at my throat, but I knew I wouldn’t be getting any hickies anytime soon. I had to be in control again. I gently urged her to lay back, and I lifted the bottom of her shirt to the hemline of her bra. I kissed her stomach, her skin reacting to my touch, her lips swollen and red parted as she watched me. I rubbed my hands over her thighs and her reaction only encouraged me further. I was crouched over her, wondering how lucky I was when she wrapped her legs around my waist. I let her bring me close with her thigh muscles, but I couldn’t let her commandeer how this would go. I was not ready to have sex with her. 

Her sex met mine, our crotches gently rubbing against one another’s. I stiffened my back, not wanting to play into the grinding but Bella was insisting and then she pulled me close to whisper in my ear. 

“Please, Edward. I need to feel you.”   
“I can’t, Bella. I don’t think I have enough self control.”

“Please, I’m desperate.” she breathes, grinding into the bulge in my pants. I hiss, feeling pre-cum already leaking out of me. 

“I really can’t Bella, I could hurt you. We have to wait. I want to make that special for you.” I explained, then I crushed my hips into hers, I couldn’t help it. 

“I’m going crazy over here. I think about you every night.” she confessed, looking embarrassed. I smiled and cupped her chin with my hand. 

“Every night?” I asked and she nodded, her eyes were wide, pupils huge from the dark or the attraction or both. I mustered up the courage to keep the conversation going. “What do you do, Bella?”

Bella seemed to change track at that. She pulled back and undid her button on her jeans, her nice blouse was disheveled, her cheeks blooming with color. I stared, a hint of purple underwear visible where her jeans were now open. 

The look in her eyes asked me to understand. She guided my hand into the gap in her jeans, the heat was incredibly strong. I felt a rush of electricity ripple through me. 

“I touch myself.” she breathed. “I think about you.” 

I knew I couldn’t begin to picture even having sex but I did want to touch her so badly in this moment. I flexed my hand open, then gingerly pressed into the top of her underwear, right at the top of her slit. She exhaled raggedly. 

“Here?” I asked, pressing in again slowly, circling my fingers. She nodded, her eyes clenched shut. 

“And deeper.” she breathed and pulled me closer, I stopped feigning my breath. Her eyes were half lidded, she was looking at me now, wondering if she would push me away with her lust. As old fashioned as I was, I was mesmerized by her body, electrified by her touch, I let my hand massage where her slit dove in. The cotton of her underwear was becoming soaked by the minute. I could smell everything about her. I felt myself strain against my pants. 

It’s like our bodies knew they wanted each other. It’s like my body wanted to make up for the lost time. But I wanted to take her virginity in a bed, I wanted to break her virtue as a rite of our love. I wanted to lose my virginity to her after we were married. I wanted her forevermore. 

She bucked her hips underneath me and my hand glided across her vagina again. She craved more of me, she was practically begging without saying anything. I knew this sexual attraction was going to make us last for a long time. I knew I would get the chance to take her virginity one day. I was not a bad person, what I was doing with her was not bad, she wanted me as much as I did her. 

I suddenly knew what she meant by deeper, I loved her for respecting my opinion on sex but this. I could probably figure this out. I stopped moving my hand back and forth on her damp underwear and gently hooked a finger underneath the side of her underwear. Her breath hitched even further and I didn’t think about it too hard. I slid my hand right against her skin, her wetness slicking my fingers instantly. She whimpered in pleasure, pulling her legs up to her side. And deeper…

I experimented with my pointer finger, pushing it into her labia gently and gliding it down. She crooned into my ear, her breath panting at my neck. I felt the entrance of her vagina, it was easy to miss, it was small and hidden in her most private part. I froze there but she bucked forward, the tip of my finger entering her. I gasped, pulled my head back. We stared at each other in shock, but she didn’t protest, merely bucked again. I let my finger slide in more, it was no trouble for Bella. It didn’t look like it hurt her, in fact she seemed overjoyed that I’d done it. 

I pushed it in until it stopped, the heat inside of her was magma. This is what I had to look forward to one day. The heat itself would probably make me come. I wiggled my finger slowly. “You… do this?” I asked, breaking the silence and she nodded. I pulled it back out then in again. She cried out much to my surprise and looked at me with encouragement. I did it again. Then again. 

She was writhing underneath me with pleasure. I took a moment to look around the vehicle but everyone was still far away. I let my thumb press at the top of her vagina, experimenting with where she might have her clitoris. She bucked underneath me when I found it, she began suckling at my neck, wanting me close. 

I pulled my finger almost all the way out and she looked at me, betrayed. My finger was soaked, soaked in her sweetness. “Do you want another?” I asked, always the gentleman. She threw her head back in anticipation. 

“Oh my God, yes!” I smiled at her enthusiasm and put my pointer finger and middle finger in my mouth. I sucked them, tasting Bella’s pre cum and when they were good and wet, I brought them down to her again. I poised them at her vagina, then pushed her underwear to the side and inserted them, slowly. She was properly excited now, the car almost groaning as she ground her hips into my hand. The fit of them was incredibly tight, she had a grip on me I couldn’t even fathom.

A moan escaped my own lips, my voice almost unrecognizable, laden with desire. I wiggled my fingers inside her, listening to her moans, doing more of what she liked, she was softening inside with my finger’s massaging, and I could really pull them out and thrust them in easier. Thank God I cut my nails! It was the softest, warmest dream I could imagine. 

“YEs!” she burst out as I pulled my fingers out and back in, angling them up behind her belly button. I was simply taken by the pleasure I was experiencing being Bella’s tool for pleasure. I wanted to make her come again and again. 

I picked up my speed, Bella would never need anyone else with me. I was perfect for her, I would protect her, I would love her, I would marry her, I would make her come. She was arching into my body, her hips shaking in anticipation for each insertion of my digits. I asked her to kiss my neck and she obliged and then her hand snaked around my hip and she was palpating at my bulge. 

The acrid taste of my venom was filling my mouth. I quickened my pace even more and then she was coming. She let a strangled moan escape her. She wasn’t used to coming with someone there. I felt something amazing then, her vagina was squeezing my fingers involuntarily. Her insides were pulsing with desire, drawing my fingers in. The sensation was too much. I came in my pants and the wetness spread. I lay down next to her and closed my eyes, willing myself to calm down before I consumed her right there and then. 

She gave me my moment and snuggled into my chest, she was warm, sweat beaded on her back and forehead. I wiped it away, and listened to her heart return to a normal pace. She drew a few lines into the window, which was now fogged. Stars and a moon. My perfect night. 


	18. You Cannot Call for Love Like a Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.vote.org/

The next morning for school, I’d been thinking of Bella’s cries, the way she rocked on my hand, the way everything seemed so perfect. The thought of everything was putting me into a stupor. I knew what it was like to fall in love. When would it be right to tell her so?

Alice knocked and asked me if I was ready for school so I decided to go with her and Jasper. 

Every time I was away from Bella and saw her again, I felt like I was seeing her for the first time again. I felt the way my favorite song sounded. I smiled and left my siblings behind, much to Alice’s dismay since she really wanted to meet Bella and she was constantly reminding me. 

I went up to Bella, she was fidgeting with her jacket, self conscious of her appearance now that I was here. I touched her arm lightly and she seemed to visibly relax. She waved at her friends goodbye, and I scanned their minds. No perverted stories of what happened in my Volvo last night had been exchanged. I liked that Bella was private. I didn’t want the girls of Fork High School to be juxtaposing themselves into our fantasy. 

Angela’s thoughts were so happy for Bella as she saw us walk away, I’d have to get her a gift later...

“Good morning,” I leaned down to tell her, and she turned and smiled. 

That urge to grab her and kiss her swept over me but I fought it off, wanting to show her the respect she was showing me. 

We walked toward the English classrooms and talked about her night the previous night. She told me she was sore. I stopped walking then and looked at her, aghast. 

“What’s wrong?” she began, moving toward me slightly, I placed my hand on her arm to stop her from getting too close. I was disgusted with myself that I had hurt her. 

She seemed to guess what I was thinking and immediately backtracked. 

“It’s not what you think.” she stuttered, and I shook my head looking down. 

“No, Edward, seriously! You must not know much about girls' bodies.” 

“I can figure that’s probably not normal to be sore because of me. I should have had more self control.” 

She shook her head and insisted I look her in the eyes. I looked, the deep browns flecked with light inlays. “Edward, I was telling you because it’s a good thing.”  
I raised an eyebrow at her, not understanding. 

“I’m sore, yes, but it feels  _ good. _ I wouldn’t expect you to understand. Typical guy. Typical vampire!” she whispered and gestured toward me with annoyance. 

I looked up and down the hallway but saw no one nearby. “What is it that I don’t understand? How is it sore but feels good?”

She huffed at having to explain herself but leaned in close, I let my ear close and she turned her face slightly, lips tickling my ear. 

“It feels sore with every step and with every step I have flashes of what it felt like to come with you inside me. I try to push the thoughts away and go about my day but my stomach feels like it’s dropping. I feel like I’ve been on a theme park ride for the last half day. It’s amazing. You have to realize girls get sore for everything, even sitting on a hot surface.” she leaned back against the locker, satisfied with her explanation. 

I thought of how Bella’s body was a living, breathing, healing thing. This was nothing like my sisters and mom who never complained about a kinked neck, sore ankle or anything else. I would have to be more understanding. The bell rang and as I could hear the footsteps of the general population a ways off, I leaned in and hugged her, whispering an apology into her ear, making her hair stand up on her arm. 

I let her go and she smiled at me one last time before disappearing into her classroom. My little sex-crazed crush. I turned and went to my classroom where Emmett and I would be playing matchmaker with Ben and Angela. 

…

Class with Mr. Banner that day was interesting. He put on a film for us and dimmed the lights after everyone was seated. I teased Bella and tugged at a strand of her hair lightly. She turned, shocked, and I pretended to be looking ahead. She shook her head and that was one of those times I really could hear what she was thinking…

Once the lights were off completely, he rolled the tape and went to his computer to grade assignments. Bella and I weren’t the farthest ones back in the room, but the boy sitting behind us promptly laid his head in his folded arms and started to snore. The air between Bella and I became electrified as the darkness exemplified our closeness. I held my breath, the thirst burning in my throat. I knew I’d have to hunt again soon, at this rate. It took a considerable amount of energy to not whisk her out of the room, for a replay of last night. 

She looked at my coyly, I could tell words danced on her lips but we had to remain quiet. I felt like the air around us was charged, my fists were tense as I restrained myself from reaching out to touch her. She let her head drop down onto one folded arm, facing away from me to the television, but she looked distracted, definitely not seeing the animations dance across the screen. In my peripheral I saw her legs relax, one knee dropping toward me as it dangled off her chair.

There it was, her scent reached my nose. It was sweet, dense like honey. I was compelled again to restrain from my desire to kiss her. Her sweet scent was mixed with something, I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it reminded me of gold. She smelled sweet, metallic, and the air around us was supercharged with electricity. For a second I almost imagined her hair was lifting with a static charge but it was just my imagination. I made sure the kid behind us was asleep again and I gingerly placed my hand into her lap. 

She seemed startled, but pleasantly surprised and she relaxed under my touch. I kneaded my fingers into her thigh, keeping a tight hold on her leg. I felt pleasure feeling her, I knew even if I told her I didn’t want to, I’d be touching her first chance I got. I willed her to reach out and touch my leg too but she didn’t, too shy in this public space. I snuck my hand up a little higher, closer to her warmth, and stopped there, letting her feel the desire I felt…


	19. Skin

I spent an innocent day getting to know Bella. I asked her all her favorites, even down to her favorite color. She obliged my interrogation but every time she wanted to know more about me, I diverted the conversation away. She did not know I was struggling with my identity, unsure of what all of my favorites were as opposed to how surely Bella would answer me. I left her at her doorstep and as I could hear Charlie rounding the corner, I noticed he was being followed and Jacob and his Father were driving right behind. 

“Cold one!” I heard Billy’s voice hiss when she saw me. I saw his plans to tell his son later to tell Bella to stay away from me. Interesting, he thought I’d eat her up like some savage? Really? 

I laid at home, Esme had successfully installed a new Queen bed as a part of my room’s decor and it was a beauty. The wood was reclaimed, dark and my sheets were silky and smooth. I laid there and thought of all the favorites Bella had. I knew I wanted to know myself better. It’d been a long time since I’d told anyone about myself. There were always the tedious things I would make up on our first day in classes, saying I liked whatever song was popular on the radio to remain conspicuous. 

Truthfully, I loved Debussy, anything classical my mom would spin on her vinyl records. I also had been born in Chicago, a hub for music coming from Southern artists. Folk, blues, jazz, I had quite a collection of anything familiar I had bought to cling to the memories I had. Sometimes, it felt like the thing I remembered most strongly from my past was the music, the smells of the city, and the sensation of the humidity in the air. I’d walk past the shops and businesses on my way home, feeling moisture from the vents spewing out into the street, rain was on the horizon, a wind was prickling my skin. 

It was amazing, how I could feel it if I allowed myself to remember. Sometimes, remembering my mother made me feel so empty inside I avoided the memories so it wouldn’t hurt. I gave myself to the feeling entirely. Memories I’d long repressed swirled back to me- my first pair of shoes and my mother holding my hand as a strange man measured my feet. I remembered what it was like to be spoiled and cherished by her. She would bring me home a sweet token every day on her way home, a token of her affection. Sweets, toys, kick knacks, all lined up in the room I grew up in. The memory was hazy. I couldn’t remember the color of the house, nor what it felt like to hug my mother. I regret being an angsty teenager when I lost her. Maybe if I’d been younger when we fell ill, I would have hugged her more. 

I got up, remembering the last few remnants of my past life I clung to. There, in a small glass box was my mother’s ornate wedding ring. I also had my birth certificate, a medical tag, and a small forgotten towel. I pulled out her ring and the towel and rubbed it until its stones shined again. I wanted to spoil Bella with my love, I wanted to give her this ring. I wanted to show her I deserved her, regardless of what Jacob might say to scare her away…

…

Alice and I had an argument, or maybe it was just me being hysterical. She had a hard time hiding her visions from me, especially when we were around each other. I read her mind, scanning my family’s thoughts as per usual. I saw the future Alice saw where Bella was bleeding out into my arms, my mouth at her throat. I flinched from the vision and threw daggers at Alice with my eyes. I wanted to see Bella human, warm, loving, not dying, cold, like me. Alice did not apologize for what she was seeing but tried to comfort me. After getting to know Bella I had a rough idea for our future, I’d follow her where she wanted to go, let her have her human life, spend time with her abroad, I’d marry her. There were so many things to do!

Alice tried showing me other visions based on what I so wanted, seeing Bella older, hair longer, more mature, but it seemed to not get past her 20’s. She always looked youthful. She was happy with me, that was true, but Alice’s thoughts always came back to the conclusion she would be one of us. She wanted me to let her befriend Bella already, so she could prepare her for what it’d be like to be one of us. 

“I can’t do that!” I shouted at her. We left it at a negative balance and I rushed away, overwhelmed with the feeling I should leave Bella again, let her think of this as nothing more than a fling. I couldn’t fathom being the one to take her life away. No one tells you falling in love makes you feel so crazy, so unhinged. 

I pulled myself together, decided I’d see Bella again tomorrow but not sure about after that. I asked Alice to go hunting with me as a truce for me blaming her for the visions she couldn’t help having. She agreed and after our hunt I readied myself for seeing Bella, wondering if it’d be my last time. 


	20. A Little Selfish

I drove to Bella’s house after many hours of watching the sun move across the sky. I figured she’d be nearly ready by 9am and I trapezed down the balcony outside my room. Driving to town had never been a concern of mine, but now even though I had a car that had an aftermarket turbo engine, I couldn’t seem to get there fast enough. I should have used some self restraint though, because once I was knocking at Bella’s door I realized she still wasn’t ready. 

She opened the door, hair still a bit disheveled and in a white t-shirt, a pair of hiking slacks, still in her socks, and with that delicious scent of sleep on her skin. I gently pushed her into the house, closing the door behind me and picked her up. Her legs wrapped themselves around my waist, I was instantly warmed by her, we were together at last. She giggled, arms settling behind my neck and I hugged her close. We parted our chests to look at each other and then we were kissing. I’d been yearning for her lips all night. I felt her breath quicken, her pulse was pounding, and the noise our lips made was turning me on slowly but surely. 

I could hold her in my arms forever, but set her down on the love seat right in front of us. I broke away from our kiss, one look at her eyes brought me right back in. I let a sound almost like a growl escape me as she pulled on my hair lightly. 

“Nice to see you too.” she whispered between the moments I pulled back to allow her to breathe. I smiled and sat on her hips, straddling her waist for once. Her hands fell naturally to my hips and she smiled up at me, lips completely ravaged, eyes sultry and dark. I pecked her once more and decided to get up, otherwise we would never leave the house. 

When she came down again, she was ready and even thought to bring a water bottle and a backpack with a few items. I loped my hand around her waist as we exited her house and held her as she locked up. I draped the seat belt over her in my Volvo, letting my fingers glide on her skin, I feel like I was being unfair, using my charm on her. Touching her and feigning that I hadn’t noticed her skin prickle at the contact. 

I sat back, glad to be able to focus on the road instead of this bombshell in my passenger seat. We talked more, more about Bella’s life, and even trickled in a few facts about my life, sharing my memories of my mother I’d just recalled yesterday. Bella was intrigued at every tidbit I could offer about my life. “I just want to figure you out.” she said, setting her hand in my lap. I reached down and held it, intertwining our fingers and I felt my body yearn for her. 

We pulled over at the trail head for a hiking spot that few locals knew about and even less tourists. We would stick to the trail for the most part but would take off onto an unmarked path at some point. There was a clearing I wanted to show her. She pulled her backpack on, face unsure of her abilities to hike for very long but I promised I’d give her a piggy back ride if she got tired. 

“You might have to give me a piggy back ride when I snap my ankle from walking.” she said, actual fear in her voice. I laughed, reaching out to encourage her to go on this adventure with me. We started walking, hands entwined, the sky was overcast as always, but I could see in the distance a break of sunlight was coming our way. Bella relaxed after a few minutes walking, and after that it almost l looked like she was enjoying herself. 

“Can I ask you something?” she said as we walked in the silence. I looked at her with a positive expression and she seemed to be pondering how to word it. 

“How does it work?” she started. 

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. 

“The… attraction I have with you. I feel like you have me under a spell.” she teased, smiling at me as she looked forward, concentrating on her steps. 

The topic had finally come up, I guess it was time to explain my hunter/prey advantage I had over her. 

“You know how a majority of the students at Forks are obsessed with my siblings and I?” I started. 

“And some of the staff too.” she added, laughing. 

“Yeah, them too. It has more to do with our natural hunter abilities. I feel the only reason we don’t get asked out on the daily is because of the fear people subconsciously feel when they’re around us. I noticed as soon as I was turned that my chemistry towards others was off, I felt superior and untouchable.” 

“Untouchable?” 

“Yes, I felt like I scared off everyone. Me being this human around you is a perfectly cultivated personality after years of practice, Bella.” 

She pondered this and I was wondering what she was thinking about all of that when she answered again, 

“I think the attraction I feel toward you scared me at first too, especially how dark your eyes were when you were thirsty. But I still felt compelled to…” she trailed off. 

“To what?” 

“Well, I just wanted to let you have me.” she said, seemingly emboldened. 

“Have you?” I felt a smile twitch on my lips, but I knew it was the monster inside me glad to hear her say it. 

“Yeah, I felt so scared of you but instead of wanting to run, hide, smack you with my book, I just wanted to lay on the table and give myself over to you. I still feel this way when I’m around you. I don’t know if it’s stupid to admit but I’d let you do a lot to me and I feel pleasure just thinking about it.” 

I felt arousal tugging inside me, I knew this was probably the case with why we worked so well, why we were fascinated with each other’s bodies, so was there a monster inside of me or was it something else? Was it a good thing that she wanted to give herself over to me if I was more than willing to have her? I beat back the feeling inside of me that reminded me of Alice and her visions. How could I control Bella’s outcome when she had already given herself over to me, mentally?

“Bella, I feel pleasure knowing you want to be mine. Is the attraction you felt what brought you to investigate what I was?” I asked, wondering again about her excursion in Port Angeles to find out more about vampires. 

“Well, at first I thought you were just some sort of dream walker. I don’t know how to explain it, but my friend Jacob believed in things I could never begin to explain. That day on La Push Beach, I asked him how it would be possible for someone to visit another in their dreams. At this point I’d seen you in my dreams almost every night, and it felt like you were really there. I woke up every morning just aching, wishing it was real. I thought you were some sort of dream traveler but Jacob inadvertently discredited my theory and told me about other beings. He told me about shape shifting in his culture and then he told me about the cold ones… It left me with more questions than answers. That's why I went to that bookstore.” 

“Did the book answer some of your questions?” 

“Some, but not all.” 

“You’re just a curious person, aren’t you?” I said, intertwining our hands together. She nodded and explained some more. 

“I knew though, whatever you were, that I wanted to submit myself to you. You… You have me.” She spoke quietly, almost not believing that she was sharing her inner thoughts. 

“Well, I don’t think it’s easily explainable, I’ve met plenty of humans and vampires that have been attracted to me but none quite as pulling as you. I know it’s possible to fall in love so instantly, I’ve seen it with other vampire couples before.” 

“So it doesn’t happen usually with vampires and humans?”

“I knew it happened, I personally hadn’t seen it and then it happened to me.” 

“You’re in love with me?” she teased. 

I smiled wide, not even wanting to answer for fear of scaring her off with my idea of the ring. 

“Well, I am quite smitten with you. Not knowing what would happen when you and I collided scared me off. Sometimes it still scares me.” 

“Please, don’t let it scare you.”   
“But Bella, you are so precious to me. How can I enjoy you and simultaneously destroy you?”

“You won’t do that.”   
“I struggle enough knowing I’ve interfered with your virtue. Before me, I’m sure you weren’t preoccupied with getting yourself laid with a vampire.”   
“You’re right about that one. But you won’t do that.”

“Correct.” I said, smiling, feeling understood but the dread beneath the excited feeling was suffocating me. “At least not now.” 

Bella pondered that and I realized we were almost to the clearing. I let her lead the way, she saw the light and smiled, wanting to feel the sunlight on her skin. I entered the clearing right after her. I hugged her back. I felt the tingling sensation on my flesh as the sun hit me. I was hugging her tight, almost afraid of showing her what happened in the sunlight but I mustered the courage to let her go and ask her to look at me. 

“Oh!” she said, then she was coming forward, hand outstretched.   
“Bella, don’t.” I almost jumped back, but she was mesmerized. It was not at all the reaction I’d expected. 

“You’re so… beautiful.” she breathed, eyes scanning across my forearms, chest, and face all reflecting the rays of sunshine. I let her get close then, she entered my open arms and I closed in on her. She looked up and I knew she wanted a kiss. I fought back the feeling that wanted me to be disgusted with myself. I kissed her deeply, and let myself give up. I let myself go and knew she would take care of me. I wasn’t going to leave her. 


	21. Coming Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6VLVJ4oBnWXD3unPDQbAUg?si=ZZnWLF3WSiKdu1RKGSlxVA <-link to the playlist!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I was slow on writing these last few weeks, the election in the USA was super stressful! I've also updated the Midnight Sun AO3 playlist on Spotify. Do you listen to it? I'll include a Youtube playlist next time!

Bella and I talked in the meadow more about our lives. She heard my deep thoughts, laughed at my inner critics of the students at school, and peppered me with questions about my life as a vampire. There was so much I wanted to share with her, but they were things I hadn’t even discussed with my family for years and years. I probably had changed my lifestyle, personality and fashion at least 50 times before Bella was born. 

Bella sat in the grass as our conversation went on, I sat beside her, the sun shifted across the meadow but was still grazing across our skin. I was so overwhelmed sharing with her, I wanted to reach out and hold her. It seemed we had drifted closer and closer until we were touching, our crossed legs brushed against each other. She shifted, her joints and muscles not able to take as long sitting so still. 

“I love this. Talking to you…” she said, and I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. I was so unsure that I’d scare her away but I was so sure she felt the same way. I reached out, pulled her into my lap and began kissing her. This is what I expected to be young and in love, to explore each other’s bodies every chance we get, to think of a future together, to talk and be listened to in an earnest way. 

Exploring Bella’s body always amazed me, she was soft, supple, in my lap I felt her weight. It was like a comfort, I didn’t want her to leave this spot. The meadow’s smells were fresh in my nostrils but now it was mingled with her scent. Her shampoo, her superficial creams and deodorants. Underneath, there it was, her scent, her magic. I knew what pheromones were, and Bella smelled so good, I felt my mouth moisten with venom. I pulled away from our kiss, hands pulling her back but at the same time pulling AT her. I was dragging my hands across her shoulders, down her back. I allowed myself a few passing massages at her rear. She was attractive and glowing. 

Touching her ever so softly, I’m sure she sometimes questioned if my hands had actually passed across her breasts or if I was just moving to the next destination. I kissed her wrists, feeling her pulse beating there and she adjusted, spreading her legs and straddling my legs. I froze, the feeling of the arteries in her legs against my own caused my breath to still. I felt a rush having her here, my excitement only growing between my legs. She touched me tentatively, kissed my neck, trailed her tongue down to my chest. I saw the contentedness in her eyes, the curiosity in her expression. I laid back, a sign to let her do what she wanted. 

She affirmed how much she wanted and pulled my shirt up, kissing my belly. I felt like I was shocked with each touch of her lips to my skin. She inhaled deeply and her hair was falling down, faint tickles across my hips. I reached down and picked her stray hair away from her face, smoothing it away. “Can I?” she asked, fingers grazing my belt. 

I felt a shock across my mind, wanting to stop, to come back down from how I was feeling. It was so overwhelming. But I made the mistake to look into her beautiful brown eyes. I saw her desire and her curiosity. I nodded and laid my head back, she opened my jeans, I could feel fear constricting in my groin. She gasped when she saw it, hands hooked into my boxers. She was just looking at it, and I almost laughed at the gnawing feeling of embarrassment. Every guy wonders how their genitals will be received. Probably every girl too. I shifted a little, reminding Bella I was waiting for her reaction. 

She smiled and looked up at me, and then tugged at my shorts. I took it as a good sign that she wanted to see more of it. She sat back on her heels as I rocked my hips up, sliding the boxers and my pants down just enough to let it free. It was in her hands now, and I felt myself harden more, it could stand on its own if Bella let go. She did a few times, her amazement at playing with me grew more intense, she shifted, sat back, and I rose to arc myself over her. She continued to stroke me, her fingers squeezing and testing what it felt like. She stroked the length of it, then she only stroked the middle, I could tell as she looked into my eyes that she was trying to find out what made me groan. 

I pushed myself into her hand, pulling back and nearly out of her hands and then pushed in again. She firmed up her grip, and pre-cum squeezed out but I’m sure she hadn’t noticed yet. She realized I wanted to feel more pressure on the head, and she was so gentle, so loving I nearly burst at the thought of having a partner that would take care of my needs. Would I ever have enough self control to make love to her? I groaned and buried my face in her neck. Her breath picked up, she asked me to kiss her. 

I kissed her starting at her neck, traveling across her jaw line, and ended on her lips. I loved her taste, ran my hands on her body and hissed suddenly, she was stroking me exactly where it felt best, and I bucked my hips again, encouraging her. 

She pulled away from the kiss to watch, curious as ever, and I inched my hands into her shirt. I stroked her warm skin, her skin reacted with my touch and I apologized that I was so cold. She shook her head, bit her lip and stroked me again, thumb brushing on the head of my dick. I groaned again, and without thinking I was reaching up into her shirt, massaging her breasts and eliciting sweet moans from her. 

“Your touch.. It’s intoxicating.” she breathed into my neck. I pushed into her cupped hands at that, allowing my hand back to slide underneath her sports bra. She smiled, laughing, her mirth spilling out and into me. I smiled too and tentatively squeezed her naked breast. She pulled at me desperately, lust filling her gaze and I knew I wouldn’t have long. 

“I think I’m going to…” I grunted, she was going faster, her palms now slicked with my own juices. I groaned as I felt the wave crash down on me. I came into her hands, it dripped into the grass. I pulled my hand from Bella’s shirt and kissed her softly, realizing now the meadow was nearly covered in shadows. “We should get back.” I told her, against my judgment that she might want my hand in her pants next. She nodded, cleaning her hands with a wet towel from her backpack. I turned away from her but when I turned back, I could have sworn I saw her hand at her lips. Was she tasting me? I heard a strange noise next, then realized it was her stomach, hungry and calling out to me; reminding me she’s human. 

“Bella, get on my back and I’ll get you down quickly.” I knew as she leapt onto my back that she would see now what a predator I was. I was fast, the trees turning into a blur. I reached back and held on to her legs as her screams echoed around us. She was scared at first, but then it turned into exhilaration. I wanted to laugh at her reactions, but as soon as we reached the car she nearly toppled over as she climbed down. 

“Right, I can’t forget how human you are.” I laughed, steadying her. 

“That was amazing!”

“That’s what it feels like.”

“To what?” 

“To love you.” 

It slipped out, I swear. But I felt nothing but love toward her when she held me in her hands, I couldn’t get the way she looked at me out of my head. I wanted to explore the world and each other’s bodies for a long time. Bella was my soulmate; of that I was sure. She smiled, her eyes getting glossy as she leaned in to be embraced. 

“I love you, Edward.” 

...


	22. Drop the Game

Bella’s scent invades every inch of the vehicle; it smells like salt, the meadow, her hair, and me. I feel a fluttering sensation in my chest just being so close to her after what she did to me in the meadow. She’s made me shy, oh my God. I can hardly look over at her which makes me glad I’m the one driving, I mean. She is the one I love. Now she knows it. I feel like I’m hanging on a precipice of uncertainty. Now that I’ve told her, there’s no going back. I might just do more, trust myself more now that I’ve told her I loved her and that scares me. 

I roll my bottom lip against the top one a few times and wonder what we will do next. Bella insists she wants to go to her house instead of me taking her to a restaurant and I wonder what plan she has up her sleeve to take me to her house. But when I look at her when she’s looking out of the window, I notice she looks tired. Her eyes are wide with energy but I can see her lips are a bit dry, expression tired. I remind her to have some of her water from her bottle and she smiles and does so. We arrive to her house.

I park a few spots down to not make it so obvious I’m here since I know from my stalking experience Charlie should be home in about an hour. Bella might kick me out before then, but I cross my fingers hoping she won’t. I want to cuddle her for the night, if she’ll have me. 

We enter the threshold and Bella locks up behind her, I wonder if she would find it funny that a locked door wouldn’t stop me but I feel that is a bit creepy. Right, less creepy Edward, I remind myself. I watch her flit around the kitchen, all the drawers and cupboards slide open quietly as she whips up a sandwich. She pulls herself up on the counter when I notice that their kitchen table is shoved up against a wall with only two mismatched chairs next to it. She must eat a few meals on the counter there. She props her sock clad feet on the counter across from her and motions me over. I stand near her and she offers me a bite. We both start giggling and I just want to swoop her up in my arms and kiss her. Her smile is still pulling her cheeks taut as she continues eating and conversing with me. She finishes eating as I keep going on talking about my family and brief summaries of their background. 

She looks so gorgeous, the way she takes me in. Her hair still fluffed by our flight down the trail. I reached out and smooth it a little, feeling the distance was too great between us. She places her hand on top of mine and brings it to her face. She kisses my palm. I know I’m staring right into her eyes, begging her to bring me closer. After a few long breaths she tugs me closer and smiles. I am enclosed in her legs as she brings me close, I feel excitement pulling at my emotions and I bend my neck ever so slightly to kiss her. She is kneading her fingers in my hair, one warm hand pulling me closer by the back of my neck. I open my mouth and let my breath invade her mouth. 

She gasps, tongue touching mine, we start to taste each other. I deepen our kiss, pushing my hips flush against hers. She opens her legs wider and cinches them down on my hips, I am right against her hot center. I groan, my imagination threatening to run away with this image of us at her kitchen counter, her straddling me, our hips at just the right height…

I can feel my body warming from the contact with hers, the goosebumps that build constellations across her skin directing me like a sailor where I should go. I sashay my hands across her shoulders, down her back, down to her hips. I pull at them, crushing her to me even tighter still and she rocks herself on me in response. I know I want to give back something for how she made me feel in the meadow. She seems to have stopped kissing me, lips still pressed to mine, but I know she’s distracted. 

I smile and pull back, I keep my arms tight to keep her from toppling off the counter and I move in between her legs. I kiss at the crux of her legs, her sweet cunt giving under the kneading of my lips. Her hiking pants were dry before this, but now with my lips nipping at hers they begin to soak and I can smell her so strongly I almost fall to my knees. I let my breath forcefully exhale, pushing through her pants to her naked sex and she moans, legs shaking in anticipation. I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her pants, digging down a little further until I reached the elastic of her underwear. She squeezes at my forearms with her hands and pleads for me to continue as I look up at her. I want to taste her. I imagined it would have happened in my nice new bed, but this works too.

I freeze though, I can hear the crunching of gravel and leaves outside. My eyes dart to the clock above the stove and she does too. She jolts at the sight and I straighten up immediately. We forgot Charlie was coming. I don’t want to meet him like this though, not now. I run to the living room to make sure I haven’t left anything of mine as Bella giggles and practically trips over her feet doing the same. She places her dish in the sink and then pulls her shirt down over her wet crotch, stretching her shirt past it’s threshold. 

She urges me to hide in her room and wait for her. “Don’t leave through my window please!” she pleads and pushes the door to shut me in, I stop her, laughing. I assure her I won’t leave and then I pull her to me suddenly. She gasps and I reach down and grab her behind. I press her intentionally to me, letting her crotch grind against mine for a millisecond. 

“Don’t give us away.” I remind her and let her go. She leaves, a disoriented half smile on her face as she pulls her shirt down again. The door latch begins to turn and I shut her bedroom door at the sight of her flying down the stairs to meet Charlie…


	23. Positions

I decided to park myself near Bella’s closet in case I had to hide and could hear Charlie undoing the locks to the door. He came into the house, threw his boots aside and called out to Bella. Bella sounded nervous as she opened the refrigerator and asked Charlie if he wanted some leftovers. 

“Yeah Bells, that’d be perfect right now.” he said distractedly as he turned the television on and settled into the couch. 

After Bella called her dad to the table, where Charlie pulled a chair out far enough to still keep his eyes on the sports channel, Charlie asked if Bella would be going out tonight, it was Saturday after all.

“Uhm, no dad I’m kind of tired and want to turn in, maybe watch a movie on my laptop.” Bella lied with some dramatic tone. Charlie’s thoughts fell into my thoughts haphazardly, though I couldn’t hear his thoughts clearly and directly, I could see any images he was thinking of clearly. He was thinking of the Saturday nights from his youth, a brown haired teenager I could assume was Bella’s mom laughing with him in an oversized Forks High School letterman jacket. The thoughts were cut off abruptly by Charlie. It pained him to think of his first love. 

I wonder if I’m keeping Bella from a normal life, I mean, if she really wanted to go to see some school Football games, take her senior trip, go on group outings, I’d go and be on my best behaviour. I’d have to ask her about this. 

“Are there any boys in town that have caught your eyes Bells?” Charlie asked, wondering if she’d pick a guy much like how he was in high school. Bella scoffed a little. 

“Not exactly.” 

I hold back my laughter, is this a joke because I’m a vampire and not a guy?

“What about Mike Newton? He’s nice to you, right?” Charlie asked between bites and I can see her reaction through his vision, she looks disgusted. The jealousy that threatened to flare up within me is abated and I smile to myself. 

“Uhm noo. If you want to be so nosy, I do like someone. You know, hopefully he takes me out here soon and you can meet him.” Bella says teasingly and Charlie clicks his tongue at Bella and holds his hands over his ears playfully. Bella laughs, ruffles his dark hair and asks if she’s good to retire for the night. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Charlie grumbles, investing himself in his food again and thinking to himself ‘Ugh! Teenagers!’

Bella runs up the stairs and takes a deep breath outside her door. She opens it up and steps in hesitantly. I leap out from the shadows and breathe a small ‘Boo’ and Bella jumps so hard she slams the door shut. 

“Hey!” Charlie half-complains from down stairs and I grab one of Bella’s pillows to stifle my laughter. I lay across her bed, oh my gosh. Her bed. It’s been warm and inviting since the first time I peeped on Bella and saw it. It’s not made, though I’m not surprised and it smells amazing. I feel like I’m surrounded by Bella. 

She scolds me for scaring her and says we have to be careful to not get caught. I laugh into the pillow some more and move it away to add: “I mean, if Charlie comes to your room I can turn into a bat and fly away through the window.” 

Now it’s Bella’s turn to stifle her laughter before Charlie hears her laughing alone and she nudges my knee over. I press my legs together to make more room and she plops right into the crook of my arm. She rests her head on shoulder, looking up at me briefly and blushing. Could it be possible that two individuals could be made for each other so perfectly? It’s like she was cut out of the side of my body and her warmth, hips, shoulders are comforting to feel against me. I snuggle closer and she reaches up, caressing my cheek softy. 

“What are you thinking?” I ask, it almost hurts to not know. 

“How gorgeous you were today in the sun. How your skin looked. How your face looked when you…” she trails off and I feel a flutter in the pit of my stomach. I really should go hunting soon if Bella’s going to have me in her bed tonight. It must mean she’ll be missing my presence when I leave so I’m sure she will invite me in again. 

I lean down and kiss her softly, gulping down her scent and letting her spit invade my mouth. I pull away noisily and pull her hair back, gently nibbling on her earlobe and then nipping dry kisses along the back of her ear. I stop for a beat at her neck, feeling her blood rushing past my lips. My venom threatens to begin flowing. 

Bella recoils in a giggle and puts an arm up to stop my onslaught of neck kisses. I smile and look down at her, her shades are open letting in the moonlight, setting us aglow. 

“It’s so much easier now. For you to tolerate me.” she whispers and I catch one of her wrists in my hand softly. 

“Bella, I don’t merely tolerate you. I adore you.” she smiles and looks away, exposing her neck for me. I kiss gently, hearing her heart accelerate and trace her collarbone with my lips. 

“So, before you didn’t want to talk to me because you were sure you would hurt me. But now you can’t stay away because you love me?” she spoke into the air, left hand twirling my hair between her fingers as I lay my cheek on her chest. 

“Yes, my personal theory is that I couldn’t possibly hurt someone I adore like this. You’re far too precious to me. If someone else tries to hurt you, well that’d be the end of them.”

She ‘hmms’ in approval and we continue cuddling against each other. Bella runs a hand down from my hair, to my neck and then my abdomen. She runs her hand across my midsection and I can’t help it, I flex for her. She laughs at that and then turns, letting her back rest against my chest. I let my breath pull her scent into me as I hug her close. I pull her so close she finally feels what I was trying to hide. My boner presses into her buttcheek and she gasps lightly. I press it in with my hips a little obviously and we both laugh a little but Bella stops laughing and hugs my arm to her tighter. 

I adjust our positions so it’s not pressing into her butt but instead in between, right to her center. It brushes against her and I hug her, the overwhelming desire to take her with the knowledge that she would let me was too much. She moans quietly and I freeze. She turns, a little shocked at the noise that escaped her. 

“Mhmm… Bella. The things I would do to you if I could.” I groaned into her ear, I was half a second from asking her for some space. I was overwhelmed for sure. 

“You mean you can’t?” she questions, and then I feel her wiggle her hips, burrowing me deeper in between her legs. 

“No, Bella. As much as I’ve been trying to think of how that could work, I’m far too afraid of hurting you unintentionally.” I explained earnestly, letting her wiggle against me playfully. She stops at that and turns to look at me. I touch my hand to her chin and hold her still, I lean down and kiss her on the lips. 

“Really!” she breathes in between. I almost want to laugh at her persistence on this topic but I decide it might hurt her feelings. I nod and explain our lust is complicating how much I just want to be there for her. 

“Well that’s not how it really works!” she whispered ecstatically. I lifted an eyebrow at her quizzically. She sighs and continues.   
“When a boy meets a girl, they get to know each other and then they act out their desires with each other. Because they trust each other. I trust you so much. I hear your honesty in everything you say. I’m not saying it has to be tonight, but I want you to fulfill the hole in my dreams! You’ve been teasing me there too.” she whines. I laugh and see she looks a bit hurt, not meeting my gaze. 

“Bella, my not wanting to do this is for your safety. Not because I don’t want to. I am a man, afterall. And you, a beautiful, soft, voluptuous young woman that stole my heart.” She smiles and relaxes into me again. 

“What are you thinking?” I whisper into her ear, intertwining our hands. 

Bella is quiet for a moment, then she swivels her hips into me again, right against my hard dick and I bite my lip in pure ecstasy. 

“Just thinking of how I can change your mind later on.” she teases.

I just about lose it. I reach down against my will and hold her hips in place. “Be careful!” I hiss into her ear. She’s about to complain that I’m keeping her from moving when we both hear Charlie’s footsteps ascending the stairs...


	24. Cool and Calm

Bella jolts away from me and I’m up on my feet. 

“Pretend to be asleep!” I whisper desperately but I assume she was thinking the same thing anyways because she’s sliding under her covers and assuming a natural sleeping position. I can hear her heart pounding, I open her closet door and step in, pulling it closed behind me and leaving it agape so I can at least see what happens. As silly as it is, the moment is exhilarating. 

Charlie cracks open Bella’s door quietly and I can see Bella is trying hard to breathe slowly in and out. 

Bits of his inner thoughts break through to mine, “Thought… She’d be…. Movie…” Hmm, maybe I should have watched a movie with her instead of letting her rub herself all over me. It would have been more innocuous. He doesn’t pass the threshold to her room though, so I guess we passed the test. He closes the door behind him and wanders downstairs to continue watching television where he’d probably fall asleep.

After I felt we were in the clear from him coming back on a second thought, I slipped out of the closet and saw Bella shaking in her bed. I approached quickly before realizing she was laughing quietly. Without thinking about it too long, I decide to slide under the covers. Bella gasps as I slide my arms across her midriff and draw her close. 

“You’re cold!” she whispers and then starts shaking again in silent laughter. I start laughing too, the adrenaline of the moments still palpable in the air. 

“Warm me up.” I ask her, and snuggle my face into her neck, drawing in deep breaths of her scent and warmth. It felt amazing when her scent blazed a trail down my throat, but when the air around her is also warm it feels even more pleasurable. Bella hums and adjusts her head, arm, shoulder, neck and continues to move without thinking afterwards as well. Ah, humans. Never quite able to stay still. 

“That was a close one.” I whisper into her ear, knowing the effect it will have on her. She nods and asks me what I’m planning to do tonight. I finally remember my plans to go hunt with Jasper tonight. As much as I want to stay the night here, I have to remember my needs or else this will quickly become unsafe. The hike and carrying her down hill also expended my energy. Simply holding myself back was now a conscious effort that required my energy. I explained this to her, hands gently squeezing her hips. 

“I understand.” she says but I can tell her lips are tight and that she might be a little upset that I’m leaving her here with the desire and nothing else. I reach into my pocket, draw out my wallet and hand Bella an ancient bill from the 1920’s. She examines it in the dark and I explain it’s my lucky bill I’ve been carrying around for over 80 years. She smiles and tries to hand it back but I shake my head. 

“I’ve really lucked out with you Bella. I’m giving this to you to hold on to. I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise. This is a little part of me I’m leaving with you.” she nods and slides it in between two books on her bedside table. I kiss her head softly, then her lips, and before we get carried away, I pull off and jump out of the window, feeling Bella’s heat escape from me and into the night air as I reach the Volvo and quietly drive away.


	25. Yeah Right

I could feel the rain coming in the air so I decided to park in the garage at home and Rosalie was there, wrangling an engine into place by herself. I cut the engine in the Volvo and hopped out, feeling like I was on cloud nine when my thoughts were cut short by Rosalie’s foul mood. 

_ About time you came home, idiot… _

I usually am not taken aback by her attitude but I feel so good right now, how come she can’t be happy for me? I ignore her comment and offer help with the engine, although we are strong enough to lift them up like nothing, it can be tricky seating it exactly where it needed to go. She growled at me though and I stopped in my tracks approaching her. 

“Rosalie, what’s your deal. Can’t I go out with my girlfriend?” I said, wearily. She scoffs, 

“So, now she’s your girlfriend? That’s new, you would think you’d tell us you were planning this.” 

Now it’s my turn to scoff. “Really Rosalie? What did you expect? Did you have to come home and ask everyone’s permission to bring Emmett home?” 

She sets her engine where she needs to and her eyes flash with anger. “That’s totally different. Emmett was already who he was and he’s innocent. I think every day of what a beautiful human life he could have had but someone stole that from him when they made that decision to turn him. Now I’m sitting here watching you with this… Bella and you want to take away her human life.” 

I roll my eyes and start making my way to the door to the house but she gets in my way. 

“Look Rosalie, I don’t know why you think I want to take her life away but that is not my intention. She’s my girlfriend and I plan to do normal things with her until we figure out if she even wants to be with me for a long time. The ball is completely in her court.”  
_But it’s not, is it?_

“What do you mean?” I answered her out loud. 

“Well,” she began, “Alice already told me what she saw. I know she’s sometimes wrong with her visions but seeing as you couldn’t even have some self restraint to just take her on a date today, I’d say she’s already very much under your spell.” 

“How would you know?!” I shoot back, my voice raising. 

“I can smell her all over you!!” she shrieks and now I can hear Esme coming down from her bedroom. 

“What do you want from me, Rosalie? I know you were so hurt I wasn’t under YOUR spell when we first met, but why can’t you let me be happy? We’ll get to that bridge when we cross to it, right now I’m getting to know her. I don’t know what comes next but I would like your support..” I plead but then the door opens and Esme is pulling me inside, looking disapprovingly at Rosalie.   
“C’mon Edward.” She whispers, rubbing my back and I can hear a string of profanities from Rosalie and the same broken record denial that she didn’t care that I never wanted her. You would think after so many years with Emmett now that she would have forgotten about the chip on her shoulder but Rosalie is vain and cold towards me and I probably would never have the relationship with her that I have with my other siblings. I shake my head at Esme, not ready to talk right now. She smiles with her warm eyes lighting up and asks if Bella had a good time today. I nod and squeeze her hand then go to find Jasper who is already in his athletic shoes and chatting amicably with Emmett and Alice in the living room. 

“Ready to go?” I ask him and he nods and kisses Alice on the lips. I run upstairs to change my shoes and then join him seconds later, later doubting if I’ll scare any prey away with the scent of Bella on my skin.


	26. Lush Linguistic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends, here's some smut! I'm sorry for the short hiatus, life is just crazy sometimes.

After hunting, I was glad to be home for a respite and I took a long shower and then I padded into my bedroom. The house was mostly empty as Jasper and I had gone ahead to hunt and now everyone else was taking their turn at traveling out. Time hunting with Jasper had passed amicably and we joked about school, my newfound girlfriend, and then he went on about how hard it was to prank Alice when she was always predicting things. He’s been trying to prank her for about 15 years now when he first got the idea from a funny show we had seen on the television. 

I lay on the wrought iron bed Esme had installed into my bedroom, it really completed the room. The white sheets were thick and plush, full of feathers like the comfortable pillows. I laid there, imagining Bella there next to me. It was painfully boring to be away from her. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to explore her mind more. I wanted to feel her skin on mine, I wanted to feel the way my body warmed when she was next to me. I wanted to place my cheek on the warmest parts of her. 

I finally had enough meditation in the bed and I got up and decided to treat Bella to a nice Sunday. I was at her home a few moments later and saw that Charlie had barely left. The car was gone but the smell of the exhaust was still faint in the air so I guessed he hadn’t left too long ago. It was about 7am and I popped up to Bella’s window, hoping the neighbors couldn’t see past the large tree on the east of Bella’s house. I looked in and I could just feel the heat emanating from the house. 

Bella was tossing and turning, seemingly dreaming and about to wake up. I watched her, she was snoring one moment and then tensing and her face would flicker with emotion. I could tell she was squeezing her knees together tight. I could only imagine what feeling that was illiciiting for her. I’d like to be between her legs right now… 

I popped the window open and it creaked minimally, not disturbing Bella from her dream. I sat in the rocking chair after carefully closing the window to the cold and decided I’d defrost from my run while she woke. I could hear her better now and she was making small moans, groaning into her pillow case, and then finally she turned to her back and grabbed at her blanket which was now bunched around her waist. 

“Mhmmm, Edward…” she breathed and I realized her sensual noises and dreams were arousing me. I let out a contented hum and decided I wanted to wake her now that I could tell my skin wasn’t ice cold anymore. She seemed to be thinking the same thing and was getting up out of bed and walking toward her desk. I saw she was huffing a little disappointedly and was fixing her bed head in the small mirror she had parked on her desk when she finally saw me in the mirror. 

“Christ!” she jumped and nearly toppled over her desk and then her chair, and then her backpack which was laying on the ground. I quickly moved to catch her before she ended up in a heap on the floor and smiled, feeling her sleepy warm skin on mine at last.

“Good morning to you too.” I purred and she let herself cuddle into my chest. 

“You scared me half to death! How long have you been here?” she demanded while simultaneously rubbing her hands on my forearms. I laughed a little at her reaction, unlike Alice, she’d be easy to prank. “Mhmm, about 30 minutes.” I guessed and began moving her with me back to the rocking chair. 

“You want me to sit here with you?” she said dubiously and I nodded, sitting and opening my arms to her. 

Her hair was still lopsided, her lips swollen from sleep, oversized t shirt was disheveled on her shoulders and her pajama pants which were frayed and soft were falling off of her hips in a delicious way. I swallowed hard as she took her seat on my lap, mainly on my thighs which I was thankful for. I didn’t want her to feel my hardness yet and question why I was watching her sleep and getting aroused. 

“Is this when I tell you what I want for Christmas?” she questioned and I laughed softly into her hair as I ran my hands over her back. She relaxed in my arms so much so that I thought she might have fallen asleep but then she was pressing her cheek into my neck and asking me if that felt nice. 

I was still slightly chilled from outside and her touch left a trail of fire on my skin.    
“You can’t imagine how good that feels.” I sighed and she moved in my lap again, looking up at me with her beautiful brown eyes. 

“All I want for Christmas is you.” she said with a smile and though we had a few months left, I promised her I could make that happen. 

I entwined my fingers with hers and brought her hand to my chest. I kissed her fingers then her cheeks, then I enveloped her lips in mine. She let her head fall back and I was caressing her back, enjoying the pleasure and completely losing myself in her kiss. 

She reached up and her delicious scent wafted over me. She latched her fingers around my neck and the room was quiet and still as we worked our jaws on one another. I was very aroused now and she was panting. Her eyes were wider, cheeks flushed, looking delectable as I picked her up and brought her to her bed. Her heart was pounding in earnest as she looked up at me. I felt like I was being driven by my lust but I couldn’t help myself. I was telling myself last night’s hunt was enough to keep me in control. I always had the window as a quick exit anyways…

Bella had her knees spread, inviting me in but I placed my hands on her knees and slowly caressed. 

“Can I take these off?” I asked politely and her eyelashes fluttered, I knew I was overwhelming her and it deeply satisfied me. She nodded quickly, mouth agape as I curved my fingers around the waistband of her pajama pants, then I reached just slightly deeper and clutched at her underwear as well. She gasped and I pulled them deftly, they slid off her hips easily, pooling at my feet. I could see a damp spot on her blue underwear crumpled in a heap beneath me.

She was paler on her legs than her arms even, soft and curvy in all the right places. I was overtaken by the desire to strip myself of my own pants and put myself in between her legs, but that would have to wait. That was not my plan right now. I was painfully hard against the hem of my pants though as I ran my hands up and down her thighs. She had a light brown patch of hair down there, wispy and darkening as it was getting wetter. I looked into her eyes intensely. All the emotion I’d pent up at home coming out as energy, I was almost overwhelmed with the moment. 

“Bella, can I… kiss you here?” I asked and she threw her head back as she heard that. A groan escaped her pursed lips and she nodded ever so slightly. I wasn’t sure I’d seen her nod but then she let her legs fall to her sides and she looked up at me, sultry, dark eyed and smitten. She nodded with confidence and I smiled. She closed her eyes at the sight of my smile and groaned again. “Ugh what did I do!” she forcefully whispered into her pillow. 

I gave her an inquisitive look and she ran her hands down her torso, stopping at her hips. 

“What did I do to deserve this?” she continued and I could only answer with another smile, I was mesmerized at the sight of her cleft. I reached down, letting myself give in to my instinct. I wanted to make love to her so badly but as I was looking at her sex, I don’t know if I could see how that worked. After her little mound of hair at the top, it dipped into her cleft and as I reached down I spread it apart slowly, I saw it was shockingly pink. The pink skin was stretched by my hands, glowing as the sun hit her folds and then I saw her entrance. It was small and textured. I groaned at the sight, it was the most beautiful, amazing thing. I knelt to my knees and placed my hands on her thighs. I kissed her thighs and left my saliva behind as I made my way to the cleft of her leg and pubic area. She nearly thrashed at that and I stopped and laughed as she placed a hand on my face, trying to stop me from coming close. 

I licked my lips and pushed her lips apart again, seeing her skin slightly pucker at the top in what I could only imagine was the magic button that Emmett and Jasper sometimes snickered about. I dove in, enveloping the area in my lips but she bucked into my face while simultaneously trying to push me away. 

“Aghh, really sensitive.” she smiled embarrassingly and I nodded and licked around it gingerly instead. She sighed at the sensation and I found myself swallowing her flavor in. She tasted just as good as she smelled, I pushed myself into her further, not needing air and as she squeezed her thighs around my head, I knew she didn’t want me to get up anytime soon.

“Mhhghm, mhm!” she was moaning into her pillow, hand clasped onto my hair. I nudged my nose against her clitoris, eliciting a jump and moan from her and then I let my tongue explore further down. I was letting my tongue spread her open, feeling myself somehow get harder at her taste. She was truly enjoying herself now, forcing herself to keep her legs open so I could move freely. I lapped at the skin between the clitoris and the entrance to her vagina then I dipped the tip of my tongue in experimentally. She was visibly shaken and I took it as a good sign to keep going. I lapped at her with long, slow strokes, flicking my tongue inside her then back out, finally able to touch her clitoris with my tongue. I sucked at the skin around it and then she was telling me: “Edward, I think I’m going to.. I’m going to..” 

I pushed my head against her more roughly, letting my cheeks, nose and chin to provide some sensation for her. She moaned loudly at that and I reached down, massaging her entrance with my finger like I did at the drive in movie. I pushed it inside her, it was slick with my saliva and I crooked it, coaxing her to come. She let her hips snap against my face and I wrapped my other arm around her thigh, holding her somewhat still as I worked at her clitoris. She was suddenly squeezing tight around my finger, it made my eyes roll back in my head, the desire to be inside her was killing me. 

“Edward… I’m! I’m going to..” she was panting, her nipples were hard under her t shirt, I moaned into her and thrust my finger in consistently harder. She came then, squeezing tighter on my finger and then I felt a rush of heat and wetness meet my hand. I moaned again, removing my hand so I could lap up her sweet juices. She threw back her head, her moans unlike the ones I’d heard before. She was more comfortable now, she loved me, I loved her…

I tried to work at her but she shuddered and asked me to stop for a moment. I nodded, and sat up to look at her. Her cheeks were properly red now, redness patterned down her neck, and sweat beading up her neck. She asked me to kiss her and I gladly took her lips in mine. She rocked up against me, wrapping her legs around my waist. I reached down to stop her from working away at my buttons and she looked up, slightly disappointed. 

“You know how I feel about this. We’re too young to be getting married, we’ve got a lot in our futures to do and see.” I whispered to her. She smiled and instead ran her hands up and down my chest. I could tell she was agreeing with me, but I’d probably be hard pressed to find her disagreeing with me after I just made her come. She was practically sleepy against my chest when I decided I wanted to see her come one more time and I pushed myself onto the bed. She looked at me, eyes bright and expecting, she liked doing this… I asked her what she was dreaming about and she closed her eyes.

“I dreamt about you staying the night instead of leaving. And you were hugging me from behind. I couldn't see you but I could feel how hard you were against me and you were grinding into me.” 

I pushed her legs up then flipped her suddenly. She cried out in surprise and turned to look at me over her shoulder, her ass was shaking with my movement and I massaged it with my hands. She hummed in approval and I crushed my hips into her butt. “Like this?” I asked huskily and she nodded, speechless. I pushed her upwards until she had her butt in the air. I brought myself in again and started eating her pussy from behind. She was crying out, unaware that pleasure like this existed. I held her buttocks forcefully, spreading her open for me and digging my tongue inside her, her hotness enveloping me. 

She let go a relentless barrage of curse words into the pillow and I let myself gander at her other hole as I brought her to come again. I thrust my fingers in, replacing my tongue and thrust them in back and forth quickly as she cried out, hips shaking so hard they shook the whole bed. 

“Mhhmm.” I said as I let her fall to her back. I licked my fingers, making her watch. It was like I was consumed by someone else, someone that wanted to be sick and perverse, that lived for making Bella come. I wasn’t Edward right now, I was someone else that revelled in hearing her moans and that was thinking up new things to try on her while he was thrusting his fingers inside her. She was breathing raggedly still as she watched me. I was still stuck in my lusty thoughts, the same ones that wondered if I could lick her butthole as well or if she would oppose that. I wanted to taste every inch of her. I pulled her close to cuddle and she let herself fall limp against me, I stroked her hair and let myself come down from my elevated thoughts and until my erection went away. 

We lay there until Bella almost fell asleep again. “Breakfast?” I whispered into her ear and she smiled and nodded, pulling on her pajama pants. “Do you want anything?” she asked me politely, and I smiled and shook my head. 

“No thanks Bella, I’m quite satisfied.” I responded and took her hand to lead her downstairs. 


End file.
